Finally, An Athlete Wears Protection In Self-Taken Bathroom Photo

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

•Syracuse and Kansas are both very good. The Orange handled Michigan State, and the Jayhawks took care of business with Memphis. Both are undefeated. If this were college football, one would meet Duke next week in the championship game, and the other would inexplicably get Cleveland State.

•The Mavericks are also very good, and their ten consecutive wins are against NBA teams, to boot. That's got to count for strength of schedule.

•Iowa's all-time leading receiver Derrell Johnson-Koulianos was arrested yesterday after being charged with a number of things, including "one count of keeping a drug house." So, yeah, party at Johnson-Koulianos's.

•Oh look, Murray Chass is making shit up again.

•Clayton Kershaw got married. Did his bride wear a Dodgers dress? You'd better believe it.

Alex Smith, this time.

•A (barely) 19-year-old rookie defenseman finally found the net, as the Ducks down the Oilers in the tenth round of a shootout. It's just like that hockey movie...the one with the kids...you know the one: Most Valuable Primate.

(h/t to Braden for the photo of Blue Jays catcher J.P. Arencibia.)

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Good morning. Someone will be with you presently.