Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
• David Welles of Chicago sent a link to "The Quadrilogy of My Favorite Snow Shovel," which he summarizes as "My neighbor stole my Snow Shovel. Caught it all on Video – and my revenge." When I asked if I should post his name despite neighborly ramifications, he wrote, "You can. I don't know her. And I hope she sees it." There's no better way to start a Super Bowl Sunday than with footage of vengeance achieved. [YouTube]
• Be honest, you wondered what Gilbert Arenas looked like when he done got served with those child-support papers on Thursday, right? Worry no more. [Last Angry Fan]