There is a lot going on in this America East basketball report from the University of Hartford's student-run TV station — so much, even, that tipster Christopher declares it "the next boom goes the dynamite." There's no instant catchphrase in this 30-minute segment (we've cut it down to the real highlights, but the entire show can be found here) from anchors Brendan Marshall and Darius Wilmot — just a lot of terrible, extended pauses and delays, and some immortal analysis from Wilmot.

On defense:

Yeah, it was really good defensively, you know. They locked down on the defense, you know, to maintain, so the other team couldn't score as much. Uh, it takes a lot of defense to win these games. You know, like, you have to play good defense and lock down so you can advance.

On Binghamton's chances:

Well, if they keep playing how they're playing, you know, good ball movement, you know, executing on the field, um, you know, working the ball around... these key aspects, getting the ball to players who are dominating, if they keep it up, they'll advance.

We hope this rocky debut doesn't discourage Marshall and Wilmot too much. After all, Brian "Boom Goes The Dynamite" Collins is still in media — he recently reported on synthetic marijuana for KSAX in Alexandria, Minn. — and Matt Lorch of the infamous Lorchcast is a co-anchor at WHDH, the NBC affiliate in Boston. These days, a broadcast meltdown tends to be the beginning of a broadcast career.