Kids! Don't drive drunk. Also don't drink underage. These are valuable messages, and what better way to get the message across than the two things today's youths love more than anything: Archie Comics and Jason Witten.
You kids still read comic books, right? Especially the wacky adventures of everyone's favorite Riverdale crew, Archie, Jughead, the two women, and, um...and all the rest. When you pick up this month's issue, they'll be joined by the Cowboys tight end lecturing the school on the dangers of the demon rum. When he's done, he punches out Moose and beds both Betty and Veronica.
Brian Hickey and basketball til bedtime.