Someone Stole Evan Longoria's AK-47

On Saturday, someone broke into the house that Longoria, David Price and Reid Brignac were renting for Spring Training. (Yes, it's precious that they're living together.) While they were at a game, someone entered through an unlocked window and removed $56,000 worth of " jewelry, cash, computer equipment, electronics, and a weapon." But not just any weapon, no no.

Five-tool guy Longoria may have a cannon for an arm, but he no longer has his assault rifle. For whatever reason, Longoria owned an AK-47 and kept it at the house in Port Charlotte. The sheriff's office emphasizes that the weapon is "perfectly legal," though we're not sure what its purpose was. Hunting? Alligators, maybe?

We're not going to ask too many questions, and we're going to hope for the safe return of his stuff. But whenever Longoria guns them out at first, or turns a twin killing, opposing base runners should probably know how he's picturing it.