A selection of stories from the week we followed the trail of KC Masterpiece and found Oliver Miller.
How These Two White Guys Wound Up In This Kendrick Perkins Family Photo | Like most white guys from suburban Boston, half-brothers Brian Johnson and Justin Tsouros had never hung out with an NBA player. So when they arrived at the condo in Waltham, Mass., one evening in the fall of 2007, they didn't quite know what to expect. The place was dark. The blinds were drawn. But they knocked, because, well, they were expected. A few silent moments passed before they heard rustling, looked up, and noticed a large eyeball staring at them through a window. Then the front door creaked open, revealing an empty foyer. Again, silence. Probably sensing the sheer incredulity of his guests, Kendrick Perkins, who'd been hiding in another room, came out smiling. (Alan Siegel)
Deadspin, Where Baseball Is Never On | Major League Baseball Advanced Media tired of us streaming their highlights, so we decided to make our own highlights, after a splendid repartée with a gentleman over there. We believe it's our duty to continue to mock these guys, but we want to do it a little more creatively and proactively, and we're going to need your help. Coming soon: Highlights, by children, for you! We're still taking video submissions!
• RELATED: MLB Won't Let Us Show You Video Of Justin Verlander's Amusing Balk, So Here's A Fucking Drawing I Did Instead | MLB Won't Let Us Show You Travis Snider Breaking His Bat Over His Knee, So Here's A Fucking Drawing I Did Instead
How To Free Yourself Of The Dreaded "Sketchy" Label | If you go to a small school, or you travel in a relatively small social circle, you know that being labeled as "sketchy" is a virtual death sentence for your penis. Take it from the sketchiest man of all. NO HAND-CRAFTED OLD SOUTH COOLER FOR YOU! Just one tiny faux pas with a girl can be enough to send her running back to her friends and declaring you unfit for hooking up. You'll be a sexual outcast, banished to trolling local bingo parlors for elderly tail and risking even further sketchiness. (Drew Magary)
No One's Going To Baseball Games, But Here's Why MLB Isn't Concerned | There's an implication that baseball is somehow struggling, that in a depressed economy people have turned away from the sport. Maybe there's something to that, but the simple truth is that attendance is no longer the most accurate bellwether for the state of the game. Focusing on the empty seats ignores something vastly more important to baseball's owners now, something that at least partly explains the league's famously tight-assed and backward approach to new media: cable TV. (Jack Dickey)
• RELATED: Putting The NHL's TV Deal With Versus In Context
Bill Plaschke Is Easily Distracted | Because every stupid thing in sports requires one to take sides, we're torn on this one. Do we agree with the guy who willingly puts his life on display on an E! reality show, then says it's not fair to talk about his personal life? Or do we agree with — gulp — Bill Plaschke? You can see our dilemma. (Barry Petchesky)
The Time The KKK Politely Asked For A "Klan Day" At The Reds' Ballpark | These four letters procured by Deadspin's house MLB archivist, Pete Nash, show that the Ku Klux Klan wrote polite letters and were extremely generous about their flower bouquets. At least that was the case in 1924. (Peter Nash)
Your Football Team Will Win 11, Maybe 12 Games Next Season | With the release of the NFL schedule, fans everywhere finally have the chance to see their team's 16-game slate, and work out probable final records. And yeah, look at those games; your team's going to the playoffs for sure. (Barry Petchesky)
What A 106 MPH Fastball Really Looks Like | Aroldis Chapman didn't hit 106 mph Monday night. Sure, the stadium radar gun registered 106. But home readings are always juiced. The objective Pitch F/X system clocked that throw at 102. Still impressive, but not a record. So Deadspin's crack video science team took the case. In order to show what 106 miles per hour really looks like, based on 102, we speeded up the video the appropriate amount: 3.92156862745 percent. Enjoy. (Barry Petchesky)
Woody Durham, The Vin Scully Of North Carolina: An Appreciation | North Carolinians didn't invent the concept of watching a sports broadcast with the TV muted and a radio supplying the play-by-play. But it's certainly become a cultural marker, not to mention a necessity given the depth of our basketball rivalries and passions. Guys my age recall the voices of Wake's Gene Overby, State's Wally Ausley, or Duke's Bob Harris who, unlike the TV crew, were always hawkeyed for that foul or travel that the ref didn't call on the other team, and discreetly observant of the ones your team got away with, and always a split-second ahead of the action. The greatest of all these men, UNC's Woody Durham, retired this week. (Owen Good)
Drunk Fan Joins Hockey Fight | In an international youth hockey match in Podolsk, Russia on Saturday, a drunk fan jumped the Plexiglas and got involved in a hockey brawl. The guy gets a few decent punches in before the referee escorts him off the ice to a standing ovation from the stands. (Kate Shapiro)
Editor-in-Chief: A.J. Daulerio | Senior Editor: Tommy Craggs | Writers: Barry Petchesky, Luke O'Brien | Contributing Editor: Drew Magary | Night/Weekend Editor: Brian Hickey | Video Editor: Emma Carmichael | Contributing Artist: Jim Cooke | Intern: Jack Dickey | Video Intern: Kate Shapiro | Moderators: Comment Ninja Squadron