We Regret Not Covering The Thong-Wearing, Feces-Spreading Meth Addict Raiders Fan Sooner

We regret the oversight if only because the unnamed author or editor of this story clearly spent so much time debating the sentence construction about 42-year-old Shawn Batie's meth arrest in a Lodi, Calif. cemetery that he or she should be commended for their detailed craftsmanship:

Police said that Batie was wearing an Oakland Raiders jacket, a g-string and a hair scrunchie around his genitals. He was also wearing socks.

He was also wearing socks.

From there, this budding William Carlos Williams segues into Batie's behavior in his cell later that night:


Police said once at the jail, Batie proceeded to smear his feces on the walls. He was moved to a safety cell after the incident, police said.


Man Arrested In Raiders Jacket, G-String [KCRA]


(H/T: Jesse L.)