Your morning roundup for May 18, the day your bros realized they shouldn't have done that, man. Above: Chris Perez makes his case to be the real-life Kenny Powers. Video via The Dugout Sports Show.

What we watched: Playoff fireworks, a whole night of 'em, in basketball and hockey. The home teams—Dallas and Boston—both won their games, though neither team delivered the lopsided win we might have anticipated, at points. Boston led 6-3, but won 6-5. Dallas had a 16-point lead that was down to six with a minute left.

The games were nearly identical, but their heroes weren't. Dirk, he of that awkward and lethal jump shot and the legacy of sustained greatness overshadowed by Kobe's fist-pumping, had a bonkers shooting night: 12 of 15 from the floor, 24 of 24 from the line, 48 points without attempting a three. A few other Mavs scored, but maybe they didn't need to—Dirk hit shots with Serge Ibaka's hand shielding him from everything.

Meanwhile, in Boston, young Tyler Seguin stunned us all. Seguin, the Bruins' first pick (second overall) in last summer's draft, had spent the playoffs in the press box—in hockey, everyone on the bench plays—until the first game of the Lightning series, after Patrice Bergeron got hurt. That night, Seguin scored a goal and assisted on another. But the Bruins were blown out. Last night, though, the Bruins rose, with Seguin scoring two goals and assisting on two others. He had 22 points in 74 regular-season games. He now has six points in two postseason games, against a fairly stout defensive team. You think he'll be in there on Thursday? (Jack Dickey)

What we're watching: The ongoing effort to make Derrick Rose our new sports unicorn. Just stop, already. He is really, really good at basketball. He is a joy to watch. The fact that he's allegedly a humble guy in an allegedly unprecedented era of allegedly overweening ego doesn't matter to anyone except maybe to sportswriters, Calvinists, and the folks who make NBA Cares commercials. The unicorn rides again tonight, 8:30 EST. (Tommy Craggs)

Elsewhere

What's not to like (other than Dan Gilbert and the fact that this very phrase will be appearing on many overpriced t-shirts in the Quicken Loans Arena team store)?: "So forget the man who once wore No. 23 in wine and gold. Instead, smile about what happened as some many things fell right into place Tuesday night, including how 14-year-old Nick Gilbert charmed the nation as he represented the team on stage." [Plain Dealer]

Magic Johnson waxes phallic about Dirk: "Look at this fallaway. In your face. I mean, off one leg, off two legs — he might have three legs tonight, the way he's shooting." [TwoMiddlesUp]

Sugar Ray says coach abused him: "Most fans of Leonard remember him for his sweet smile and lightning-fast hands, as a transcendent and breakout celebrity in a brutal profession. But by Page 36 of 'The Big Fight: My Life In and Out of the Ring,' to be published next month by Viking, Leonard has mentioned his cocaine use, growing up in a home with alcohol abuse and domestic violence, luckily surviving a car wreck with his mother at the wheel, almost drowning in a creek as a child who was unable to swim, and fathering a son at 17. Two pages later, Leonard delivers the book's bombshell while indirectly addressing a growing concern in the sports industry at large. He reveals publicly for the first time that he was sexually abused as a young fighter by an unnamed 'prominent Olympic boxing coach.'" [NYT]

Most Pitchers Would Not React The Way Indians Closer Did After Allowing Inconsequential Run

Harmon Killebrew, 1936-2011: "Jack Morris, the longtime Detroit Tigers ace who won Game 7 of the 1991 World Series for the Twins, said he believed that Tuesday was more of a celebration of Killebrew's life than it was a mourning of his death. 'I'll always remember the good in Harmon, and like Paul and like Kent, to remember the innocence of being a young kid who just looked up to a guy he didn't know because of what he did as a baseball player, that you hoped that maybe someday you could be like,' Morris said. 'As a grown man now, I look back at him not as that guy but as the guy that tried to show me you don't have to be angry, you don't have to be mad. You can love and share love.'" [Star-Tribune]

Harmon Killebrew was not the MLB logo's silhouette, says this old Uni Watch column: "So the notion of Harmon Killebrew being the inspiration for the MLB logo appears to have originated with Killebrew himself, who sincerely believes his photo was the basis of the design. He's repeated this claim over the years to numerous parties, including Jim Hannan and Maxwell Kates (although he's never gone on the record with a reporter until now), and those people have in turn passed it on other people. Along the way the story has become part of the logo's lore, its unofficial oral history, even though [designer] Jerry Dior says it isn't true." [Uni Watch]

Posnanski does the Posnanski thing on Killebrew: "Reporters started to look more closely at Killebrew. They found that he had a little bit of the Heartland folk hero in him. His grandfather, Culver Killebrew, was said to be wrestling champion of the Union Army and, according to his great granddaughter Diane Killebrew Holt, he was able to stand flatfooted and jump over a horse. Harmon's father, Harmon Sr., whom everyone called Clay, was a college football star who played professionally with the Wheeling Steelers. Teammates, coaches and reporters told countless stories about Harmon's amazing feats of strength. They saw him hit home runs while breaking bats. They saw him lift up teammates like they were large pillows. Naturally, the reporters began to call him Killer. The nickname, in many ways, was an absurdity. 'Killer' fit Killebrew the way 'Jazz' fits Utah or 'responsible' fits government. He was so quiet and gentle that, when one reporter asked him if he had any hobbies, Killebrew said, without apparent irony, that he liked washing dishes at home." [Joe Posnanski]

The Mets got rained out and still lost: "Thursday afternoon, one of the most durable players in Mets history will be placed on the disabled list for just the second time in his eight-year career. A CT scan today confirmed a stress fracture in David Wright's back, which will keep him out of the team's lineup for at least the next two weeks. Doctors prescribed 10 days of rest before he can resume baseball activities. He will then be re-evaluated at the Hospital for Special Surgery in Manhattan." [Star-Ledger]

Some day, Dice-K's right arm will just fall off: "This will be Matsuzaka's sixth stint on the disabled list in four years; he previously was shelved with injuries to his shoulder, neck, and forearm. He was injured this time on April 29 while pitching against Seattle. In his three appearances since then, Matsuzaka has allowed 11 earned runs on 13 hits and 10 walks over 11 1/3 innings." [Boston Globe]

Tony La Russa and Marty Brennaman tell each other to get off their respective lawns: "On Monday, Brennaman called Carpenter a 'whiner and excuse-maker' on the air. He also referred to Duncan as 'infantile.' Duncan was among those on the Cardinals bench yelling at Cordero during the game. Brennaman said that the Cardinals 'might be the most disliked team in baseball.' Before the Cardinals' game Tuesday in St. Louis, manager Tony La Russa noted that Brennaman is in the broadcasters' wing of baseball's Hall of Fame. 'He earned the right to get into the Hall of Fame,' La Russa said. 'And now he ought to keep earning that respect instead of abusing it.'" [AP]

Today in Derek Jeter's batting line: .253/.309/.310

Days since "Cap'n" got his "crunch" back: 10

Jim Tressel faces the music at Big Ten meetings. Just kidding, he avoided the media like the plague: "In a year when the conference is in the process of welcoming new member Nebraska, integrating three other new football coaches and pondering issues as serious as potentially increasing scholarship aid to help athletes with living expenses, Tressel wasn't in a place to serve as a face of the conference he's dominated. As he faces a five-game suspension, a $250,000 fine and an Aug. 12 hearing for his NCAA violations, the meetings wrapped Tressel in a protective cocoon even as he hovered above them." [Plain Dealer]

Kegasus ruffles feathers: "So this year, Kegasus — an ad gimmick that was half a beer-bellied man, half a horse — was named Lord of the Preakness Infieldfest. He has trumpeted $20 bottomless beer mugs, as well as a bikini contest and big-name musicians. His message is summed up with a catchphrase: 'A 10-hour party to celebrate a two-minute race. Now we're talking.' 'You can't fix stupid,' Maryland Delegate Pat McDonough, whose district includes Baltimore and Harford Counties, said of the Maryland Jockey Club. "The campaign is infantile and another example why the horse industry is in decline. They've taken a great sporting event and turned it into a fraternity party."" [NYT]

Yeah, please, don't fight Floyd: "Manny Pacquiao and Juan Manuel Marquez, heroes in their boxing-rabid home countries and world champions who have staged two prior classics in the ring, took a significant step toward their trilogy Tuesday. Mexico's Marquez has verbally agreed to all the key points of a contract that guarantees $5 million and secures a catch-weight limit of 144 pounds for an expected pay-per-view welterweight title bout against Filipino superstar Pacquiao to be fought Nov. 12 at MGM Grand in Las Vegas, Pacquiao promoter Bob Arum of Top Rank told The Times." [LA Times]

Google's girl problem: "The number one job of Sports Show with Norm Macdonald is to be funny. But, coming in right behind being funny, is pointing out the mild sexism that exists in Google's search algorithms. Watch as Norm exposes a fatal flaw when trying to search for WNBA statistics on Google." [Sports Show]

A scatological examination of swing expert Bubba Watson?:"Bubba never had a formal golf lesson and doesn't have a swing coach. Well, he doesn't have an emotional swing coach, either. Some athletes wear their passions on their sleeve. Bubba wears them across his chest and down his pant legs, too." [Hartford Courant]