As far as we know, this isn't real. Carlmont High (Calif.) students don't have to "ensure that their penises are clean and orderly," nor do they have to procure a friend's pubes if they have trimmed their own. It's a senior prank, and a well-executed one at that.

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That being said, penis inspections are very real, youth of America. They just don't start until college, once you pledge a frat.

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Enjoy the long weekend. Your hosts will be Hickey, Dickey and Dorktern.