War Criminal To Advise FIFA On Compliance

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, newly re-installed FIFA dictator Sepp Blatter has announced that that avatar of moral probity, Henry Kissinger, will advise FIFA's new corporate governance and compliance body from his seat on a "committee of wise persons."

More from the AP:

Newly re-elected FIFA president Sepp Blatter is turning to former U.S. Secretary of State Henry Kissinger to help investigate problems within world soccer's governing body.

Blatter says the 88-year-old Kissinger has agreed to be on a "committee of wise persons" to advise FIFA's new corporate governance and compliance body.

Kissinger, who was secretary of state from 1973 to 1977 under presidents Richard M. Nixon and Gerald Ford, is an ardent soccer fan and worked on the failed U.S. bid to host the 2022 World Cup.

Blatter also said on Wednesday that he wants to appoint Dutch great Johan Cruyff.

The committee will have the power to investigate and suggest solutions to problems as FIFA recovers from a bribery scandal.

I thought this was a joke when I first read it. Henry Kissinger, the evil brain for the least compliant president in American history, intends to show world soccer how to clean up its act? (I'm sure FIFA's Chilean delegation is thrilled at the news.) The irony, of course, is that Kissinger is not only a perfect match for a secretive morally bankrupt billion-dollar operation but also a fitting emblem for the final term of said organization's wretched Swiss overlord. At least we can finally say this and have it ring true: Sepp Blatter is the Richard Nixon of soccer.