Time to reactivate the old eBay account, because holy shit look at this thing. I'm just going to paste the seller's description, because, my god.
COMPLETELY CUSTOM, ONE OF A KIND 1971 CHEVY IMPALA CONVERTIBLE, WITH OVER 725 HP, 24 carat GOLD RIMS, CUSTOM AUDIO SYSTEM, CUSTOM INTERIOR, CUSTOM PAINT, NO EXPENSE WAS SPARED MAKING THIS VEHICLE COMPLETELY UNIQUE. The pictures do not do this car justice, it is a sight to be seen, and you will definitely be noticed.
Over $130,000 was spent building this vehicle. First the body was removed and a frame off restoration was performed. After the body had been restored, over $25,000 was spent on the fade away yellow-red paint and suede interior. The interior is suede with leather throughout. Over 25 speakers wrap the interior of the vehicle in custom speaker enclosures, with a custom subwoofer box, housing (4) 15inch subwoofers and amplifiers for each. A video monitor controls all audio and video options, and the rear view mirror is also hooked up to several cameras around the vehicle.
New Dayton 180 spoke 24inch 24carat gold rims were put on the vehicle. Dayton Wheels no longer makes gold rims because of the price of gold!! These rims were custom ordered and can not be copied or replaced.
The engine is a 505 Big Block V-8 producing well over 715 HP, that has been custom tuned and dynoed. We have all of the Dyno papers, and receipts for the new owners records. A new transmission and all new components have been added and modified to match the power of the engine. A retard booster was also installed to regulate the amount of power, and can be controlled by a knob next to the shifter. The custom yellow top quickly opens and closes with the touch of a button.
I don't even know what most of those words mean!
Oh, and here's the best part: it's owned by "a current Dallas Cowboys Football star." We won't hazard a guess, but we will observe the lockout is hitting some harder than others.
UPDATE: Local crowdsourcing says Marion Barber, who might better be called a "former Dallas Cowboys Football player."