Your morning roundup for July 21, the day a shark jumped right into our boat. H/Ts to Jon and Eric. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors.

K-Rod Is Here To Salute You

What we watched: Derek Jeter. Well, we're not watching him, especially now that the whole 3,000 business has at last come and gone. But, per Hardballtalk, there remains this incessant jousting each day over whether No. 2 should continue to bat leadoff. Jeter is now hitting .263 after going 1-for-4 in last night's win over the Rays. We can't help but love the devilish comment on the entire affair from Joe Girardi, who said before the game he "might" put Brett Gardner in the top spot instead, adding that the rest of us will have to "[j]ust wait and see what happens." Because, you know, that's precisely the kind of talk that ought to keep everyone who's completely riled up about this calm for another day.

Elsewhere

Tiger Woods's newly former caddie will now take this opportunity to tsk-tsk his boss's penis: "'Well I think when you're great friends with somebody and a situation like this occurs, you obviously lose some kind of respect,' Williams said." [CNN]

Sad Clown Chronicles, Vol. 3,158: "Boxing promoter Damon Feldman won a technical knockout over Jose Canseco after the former major league slugger was a no-show at district court. Magisterial District Judge John P. Capuzzi ordered Canseco to pay Feldman $6,500, plus attorney fees and court costs after Canseco failed to appear for a hearing in his court." [Delaware County Daily Times]

Your Scooter Lust Interlude:

Hawaii thinks Facebook might help QB Bryant Moniz win the Heisman. It won't.: "This isn't only for the media," said media relations director Derek Inouchi, who created the Facebook page. "Facebook is so hot right now, we thought we'd try and experiment with the power of social media." [Star-Advertiser]

Setback for Bryan Stow: "According to a post on the family's website, doctors had to do the [emergency] surgery Monday morning after fluid built up in Bryan Stow's head and prompted a 30-second seizure. Such seizures can cause further brain damage." [San Francisco Chronicle]

Serena plays her last card: "She is ranked 172nd this week, and only the top 105 players have been granted direct entry into the field for the year's last major championship, which starts Aug. 29 in New York. But because Williams was sidelined more than six months by a series of health issues, she has the right to use her special ranking to enter up to eight tournaments, including one Grand Slam. 'I have nothing to lose,' Williams said Wednesday at a news conference in New York City before a World Team Tennis event. 'I think that's when people are the most dangerous.'" [AP]

Go say hi to Clay Travis's new site: "Stroll around the site and you'll see the framework of what we'll be doing, fun pieces, intelligent columns, contests — go ahead and submit a photo of yourself if you think you've outkicked your coverage more than any guy in the country — and more. We'll continue to evolve rapidly, with SEC speed. Will we make mistakes? Of course. Will we have stupid ideas? Definitely. But eventually we're going to hit on all cylinders, and, like Herschel Walker seeing a hole, burst into the open field with jet fuel propelling us to the goal line. Ultimately we'll have a site that's a meritocracy, if you're a good writer I hope we'll find a way to feature you, and I hope that you'll be able to find a way to also make a living doing what you love to do." [Outkick The Coverage]

Man U gives the Sounders a 7-0 buttwhupping: "Everybody thinks they can play in the Premier League," said Keller, who played only the first half and allowed one goal against three saves. 'Everybody thinks that, ‘oh, if I just got the break, if I had this, or if I had that, that I could be there,' and actually, no, you can't. You need to learn to figure that out.'" [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]

We are all Dave McKenna CLII: Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting every day until Snyder's dumbass libel lawsuit is found face down in the Reflecting Pool.

*Japan, not *steroids: "Hideki Matsui is a big-timer in New York, a triumphant Yankee for most of seven seasons who saved his best for last — an MVP award in the 2009 World Series. Now he's returning to Yankee Stadium a member of the 500 home run club. With an asterisk." [SF Chronicle]

A Wambach homecoming: "'She's right there! I can see the back of her head!' squealed Ally Strauss, a 12-year-old from Hilton who stood on a picnic table with her friend, Ronni Brescia, 13, just to get a glimpse. Then Ally yelled out: 'I love you Abby!'" [Democrat and Chronicle]