Everybody Feared The Worst When Old Man Brent Musburger Went Rogue In Vegas For A Spell

Your morning roundup for July 23, the day after we learned that high-school tennis coaches really might want to stay away from strip-club ownership.

Everybody Feared The Worst When Old Man Brent Musburger Went Rogue In Vegas For A Spell

What we watched: Nothing. The temp was too damn high. Offensively high. Synapse-melting high. I hear Cole Hamels threw a nice game. And Nelson Cruz swung a hefty bat. Whale Wars didn't feel right, what with the Steve Irwin impounded and all. Neither did The Soup, what with Prussian Blue back in the gossip-TV mix. Whole world's coming to an end, Mal. Prepare.

Elsewhere

Bright light city set his soul on fire: "[Brent] Musburger had missed his scheduled slot time for the 24-hour radio-a-thon at The Palms for The Caring Place, a support facility in Las Vegas for people whose lives have been touched by cancer. The time slot had been bought for $1,500 by ESPN radio listeners. Sullivan and ESPN Radio were unable to reach Musburger by cell phone, but FOXSports.com was. There was a simple explanation. 'Oh….no,' Musburger exclaimed. 'I thought it was tomorrow. Can I still do the show? I am so sorry.'" [FoxSports]

"A man, with a will to survive": The cousin of one of the new suspects in the Bryan Stow attack called a southern California show and talked some heavy smack. "'I'm not surprised in the least bit,' said Ronald Humphries, referring to the arrest of Marvin Norwood. 'He's the kind of person that's peed off at the whole world for absolutely nothing. ... He was in and out of jail in the couple months I was there and on several occasions he would beat up his girlfriend'" [KION]. Meanwhile, days after emergency surgery, Stow's family was told "he had both eyes open, his right hand was either trying to give a thumbs up or hold up two fingers." [Support4BryanStow]

Well, the Cubs do have a Stanley Cup drought, too: "The Cubs didn't draft seventh-round pick Trevor Gretzky as a PR move. He was selected by Jim Hendry & Co. because of his status as a legitimate prospect." [CSN Chicago]

Stevie Franchise, alleged groper: "The woman, Shauna Simien, tells us the 'groping' while the two were talking outside, when Francis reached down and grabbed her between the legs. Simien claims she screamed for him to stop — and that's when a few of her friends, whom she brought along for protection, rushed over to break things up." [TMZ]

Your Rinus de Zanger Carnival Interlude:

Lockout with your rod out: Tweets Oakland TE Zach Miller, "Just got done fishing with Shane Lechler. Caught some red snapper in the Gulf." [TwitPic] (H/T Sportsfeeder1)

Nails will face a jury of his peers, but will likely claim he's peerless: "Former New York Mets and Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Lenny Dykstra has been ordered to stand trial on car theft and drug possession charges. A judge said Friday that the 48-year-old former baseball star will go to trial on 25 counts. If convicted, Dykstra faces up to 12 years in prison. He remains in jail." [AP]

But who will he cast aside to compensate for this?: Jordan Spieth may well strip Tiger Woods claim to being the only golfer to win the U.S. Junior Amateur Championships multiple times. [PGA Tour]

We are all Dave McKenna CLIV: Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until his dumbass lawsuit goes the way of Major Toht's face.

Hey, the WNBA All-Star Game is on today: "In speaking to multiple players, they all said (in their own, unique way) that All-Star weekend is rejuvenating for their spirit." [SLAM Online]

Today's Soccer Viewing Recommendations: The Copa America third-place match between Peru and Venezuela is on some Spanish channel at 3 p.m. eastern. It's the Chicago Fire vs. Manchester United on ESPN2 at 5 p.m. Everton vs. DC United is on Fox Soccer Channel at 7:30 p.m. And, the Philadelphia Union faces Real Madrid at 9 p.m., airing on ESPN Deportes/ESPN3.