This Evening: Anyone Out There Have A Match?

Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 3, the day Dick Vitale kissed the pope's ring. H/T to Disco Choo for the photo of Bears rookie Gabe Carimi. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors.

This Evening: Anyone Out There Have A Match?

What we're watching (all times EDT, unless noted): You've got Yankees-White Sox on ESPN at 8 p.m. and Barcelona-Guadalajara in the World Football Challenge from Miami at 8:30 on ESPN2. That about covers it.

Read Me: Today's Story That Doesn't Suck

Guys just don't long jump like they used to: "See, the amazing thing is not that Mike Powell's record hasn't been broken. It's that nobody has even come close. Nobody has jumped 29 feet since that day in Tokyo in 1991. Nobody has come within eight inches of the record since that day. At the 2008 Olympics, 27 feet, 4 inches was good enough for gold - the worst gold medal performance in more than 35 years. As the greatest long jumper who ever lived likes to say: ‘These guys come out now, jump 28 feet, take their gold medal and go home like they did something.' And the greatest long jumper who ever lived - and the 30-foot jump that never happened - is at the heart of our story." [Sports Illustrated]

This Date In Deadspin History

Aug. 3, 2010: "Those Guys Have All The Fun" Will Make Many "Fun" ESPN Employees Crap Their Pants

Elsewhere

Hideki Irabu's sad story: "Irabu could be a likable young man when he was in a good mood. Cap pushed back, chewing bubble gum, and talking about his forkball, he seemed quite personable. He could also be very generous-to cite one example, he paid off most of his translator George Rose's graduate-school loans with part of his first World Series bonus. But Irabu was often morose and given to long fits of depression. Despite efforts by Derek Jeter, David Cone, and David Wells to help him integrate into the team, he spent much of his time alone, sitting by himself in the Yankee stadium bullpen out in right center field. On the road, he would shut himself in his hotel room poring over anatomy books, trying to understand physiology. (He liked to draw pictures of the human body and became quite skilled at it.) Still, acquaintances described Irabu as being lonely for company-if he hooked up with you for dinner one night, then he'd call you up the next and the night after to go out. It seemed that when he drank, he liked to do so in the company of others, not home alone as others might." [Slate]

What Yahoo! did right: "Yahoo Sports attracts more unique visitors every month than ESPN.com does. How many is Yahoo bringing in? Try 45 million uniques a month. That's an insane number. The sports battlefield of the future is not going to be fought on television screens, it's going to be fought based on website eyeballs melding with television devices into a conglomeration of the two. I'm going to write later in the week about why I think ESPN's competitive dominance will die in the coming next two decades, but for now just know that website readership, I believe, is a more important metric than television numbers. Now let me just sketch out the moves that occurred to make Yahoo Sports the primary rival to ESPN by the start of 2010." [Outkick The Coverage]

Wait. Marc Bulger was still playing?: "Marc Bulger, 34, who was the Ravens' No. 2 quarterback, last year, has decided to retire after 11 NFL seasons and two Pro Bowls. A league source told The Baltimore Sun about Bulger's intentions to retire on Wednesday morning, and Bulger confirmed it to ESPN." [Baltimore Sun]

We are all Dave McKenna CLXX: Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting every day until Snyder's dumbass libel lawsuit gets eaten alive by vultures.

Peruvian beer commerical interlude:

Isn't 20 bucks pretty much the going rate for a 12-year-old Mercedes with 64,000 miles?: "On the day he was leaving for his new job as defensive coordinator with the Arizona Cardinals, Horton parked his car — a red 1999 Mercedes Benz SL500 convertible roadster — in front of the team's office complex and went inside to say goodbye to the cafeteria staff. When he saw Matthews, he said to him, ‘Hey, I need a favor from you. How much money you have in your pocket?' Matthews said, ‘I got $20.' Horton took the money, looked at it and said to Matthews, ‘Sold for $20!' [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]

Merch: Managing editor Tom Scocca and contributing editor Drew Magary have both written books. You can buy Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future here, and Magary's The Postmortal: A Novel here. Now do it.

We're glad he's OK: "After practice the Eagles said Mike Patterson had a seizure that lasted about four minutes, but was now alert and stable, even joking with staff at Lehigh Valley Hospital. Head trainer Rick Burkholder said Patterson had no medical history that would have led to a seizure, and that the defensive tackle was undergoing tests. He would not speculate on what may have caused the seizure, although a team source said it was because of dehydration." [Philadelphia Inquirer]

Bubba Smith, aka Hightower, dead at 66: RIP [@anblanx]

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