Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 9, the day we were priced out of the market for an aluminum bat. Photo via EnglishRussia.com. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors.

This Evening: From Russia With Love Dolls

What we're watching (all times EDT, unless noted): MLB Network has Tigers-Indians or Angels-Yankees, with both starting at 7. ESPN2 has a WNBA game between Seattle and New York that starts at 8. If you're in New York and you're not into watching sports on TV, Deadspin managing editor Tom Scocca is reading from his new book, Beijing Welcomes You, at the Powerhouse Arena in Brooklyn at 7. Details can be found here.

Read Me: Today's Story That Doesn't Suck

Pete Dexter's 1981 classic on John Matuszak: "Matuszak was on the way to the Canadian Football League when Al Davis flew out from Oakland and offered him a chance to play for the Raiders in 1976. He has been there since. 'It's the only place I could play,' he said once. 'I know my reputation around the league.' The reputation, briefly, is that he still belongs in the straitjacket they used on him when he overdosed on depressants and alcohol in Kansas City. The truth, though, unless you happen to look at it from a very tight-ass point of view, say, that of most of the coaches in the National Football League, is that while Matuszak has had his share of scrapes, most of them can be put down to growing pains. That and things found hidden in his automobiles. A machete, a .44 magnum, a little dope. Anyway, all that was before he mellowed…." [Bronx Banter Blog/Inside Sports]

This Date In Deadspin History

Aug. 9, 2008: The George W. Bush Female Athlete Inspection Continues

Things You Might Have Missed Today

Some quick links to a few items we posted earlier:
Grabby Arena Football Fan Draws a Flag
The Mets Are Now Losing The Ability To Stand Upright
Finally, Hulk Hogan Addresses The London Riots
Shaq's New Girlfriend Is Admirably Comically Sized (UPDATE: This Is How They Kiss)
Shannon Sharpe Looks More Bad-Ass Leaving A Port-A-Potty Than Anyone Else Does

Elsewhere

Does this mean the NFL needs to step in and do something about this, too?: "But so far the unintended winner of the lockout will be orthopedic surgeons. With training camps open for less than two weeks, unofficial counts have 10 players with Achilles' tendon tears, season-ending injuries that Monday claimed their latest victim, Mikel Leshoure, a rookie running back for Detroit. The number is notable because nine players are believed to have torn their Achilles' tendons in all of the 2010 preseason. According to figures compiled by Football Outsides, a Web site that tracks every game of the season, nine players were on injured reserve with Achilles' tendon injuries in the first week of the season last year." [New York Times]

At least the Mets can beat the New York Times: "I love the Times, but Jim Luttrell's post is tone-deaf about Mets fans specifically, baseball fans in general, and ignores the actually interesting currents and tribes of the city in favor of shaking a tin cup for the permanently shallow and professionally bored. From the assumption that Mets fans check out once there's no chance of the postseason to the invitation for readers to submit cutesy Lettermanesque items, the target audience is fair-weather fans, brainless NYC drones and snarky douchebags without portfolio, none of whom I have the slightest interest in reading about or hearing from in the paper of record." [Faith and Fear in Flushing]

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Jim Tressel had made a lot of money at Ohio State? Didn't see that coming: "Jim Tressel made $21.7 million as Ohio State football coach over his decade-long tenure before being ousted for breaking NCAA rules, records from the publicly funded school show. Tressel earned more than $3.5 million in 2010, the year he covered up an improper benefits scandal that has led to Ohio State being forced to appear before the NCAA's committee on infractions this Friday. The figures, released Tuesday to The Associated Press by Ohio State, show that almost a quarter of Tressel's pay-$4.6 million-came from an exclusive deal under which Ohio State directed a portion of its exclusive deal with apparel-maker Nike to the coach." [AP]

An interview with football agent Joel Segal: "Like many agents, Segal went to law school, but never intended to find his fortune in the sports world. He was hired by a large 'white-shoe' firm out of college, but says he quickly lost interest in the day-to-day grind of life in a big law office. So he quit and moved back to his parents house. He had followed the careers of legendary sports agents like Leigh Steinberg and Bob Woolf and decided that was where he wanted to try his hand. He printed up some business cards with his mother's phone number on them and began cold calling football players. It's not easy for an unknown lawyer with no office and no experience to convince professional athletes to trust him with their financial future. 'A lot of guys hung up on me,' he says. Eventually, Segal landed his first client in Brad 'Mr. Smooth' Baxter, a little-known running back for the New York Jets. Once he got that first client, however, the doors were opened and it wouldn't take long for other players to come through it. [Business Insider]

Weird Ecuadoran commerical interlude:

Guy who employs Tiger's former caddie doesn't believe he's being overshadowed by Tiger's former caddie: "'Well, I certainly don't think that was his intention to steal my moment at all,' Scott said Tuesday at Atlanta Athletic Club, where he will be one of the favorites to win this week's PGA Championship. Williams had called Scott's win ‘the most satisfying' of his 33-year caddying career. Many took that as Williams rubbing it in at the expense of Tiger Woods, whose high-profile firing of his 12-year sidekick came partly in reaction to Williams asking to work for Scott on an interim basis while Woods recovered from his leg injuries. [ESPN]

Bet Jereme Richmond wishes he hadn't declared for the NBA draft: "Former Waukegan High School and University of Illinois basketball standout Jereme Richmond was charged Tuesday with beating a woman and threatening her with a gun. Richmond, 19, and Matthew Riley, 22, of North Chicago, were arrested Monday afternoon outside the victim's house after police found a loaded .40-caliber semiautomatic pistol in the car the men had driven. After a stellar high school career at Waukegan, Richmond went on to Champaign, but left the team after his freshman year in order to enter the NBA draft. No team drafted Richmond, however, and many speculated he had attempted to move to the professional level before he was ready." [Daily Herald of Arlington Heights]

Merch: Managing editor Tom Scocca and contributing editor Drew Magary have both written books. You can buy Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future here, and Magary's The Postmortal here. Now do it.

A riot is no place for a friendly: "Police numbers have been stretched after three nights of chaos across the capital. And the friendly fixture is the latest casualty with the Met needing all their resources to deal with the disorder. The FA hope to reschedule the game for next year and have confirmed all tickets will be refunded in full." [The Sun]

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