Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Judgment Without PityS

Bartolo Colon, Yankee pitcher and existential protagonist, found himself beset by 14 men last night. Nine of his antagonists were Kansas City Royals hitters-including Billy Butler, who launched a fly ball to somewhere around the top of the outfield fence in the third inning. Four more of his opponents were the umpires, who declared that Butler's ball had cleared the fence for a home run, and then upheld that call even after reviewing a video that strongly suggested otherwise. The last and most unbeatable foe: Royals pitcher Bruce Chen, who held the Yankees to 3 runs in 6 innings, running his record to 8-5. By the time Chen left the mound, Colon was already gone. Colon's final line: 5 IP, 7 H, 5 R, 3 K. And 2 HR, according to the umps. What does it all mean? It means he got beat by Bruce Chen.