C.J. Sapong is a rookie forward for Sporting Kansas City, and he is creepily heartsick for goalie-dancer Hope Solo. So with the U.S. women's national team in town for Saturday's friendly against Canada, Sapong did what any tormented soul would do: he "stayed up late" and wrote her a spoken word love poem (he actually called it a "poem-slash-rap"). Here is the maybe-better-left-unsaid beach fantasy that Sapong shared with Solo in front of a crowd of people on a soccer field:
Hope, I heard you were comin' to KC
Words couldn't express the feelings that I felt inside of me
Actually, it reminded me, of aesthetic scenes from a beautiful dream [Ed. note: Impressive internal rhyme here!]
We took a trip to the beach and we didn't pack our shoes
Wearing each other's training gear, girl, you look good in Sporting blue
My warmup pants didn't fit you, so you rolled em up like sleeves
Long walks along the beach, water splashed upon your knees
But then you spoke and, oh, a tender voice
And I had to stop, girl, I just had to rejoice!
Hope Solo, Hope Solo, girl you make my soul glow
Close my eyes, I see you, know I'm cheesin' like a photo
Hope Solo, Hope Solo, don't think I'm loco
But this a cold world, girl, you could use some hot coco
Hope Solo, Hope Solo, your swagger's through the roof
The angels really do exist and girl, you are the proof
Hope Solo, Hope Solo, can you make my dreams come true?
There are no beaches in KC, but a hug from you will do.
Sapong has since attempted a #HopeSoloHopeSolo campaign on Twitter, and a few generous souls have mentioned that they "can't wait" for the iTunes track. (We can.) But we admire the rookie's innovative take on the Hope Solo proposal meme. The whimsy factor here almost outweighs the creep factor.