Mike Shanahan Has A Poopy Face

Your morning roundup for Nov. 7, the day we learned why Europe is just better than America sometimes. Photo via D.C. Sports Bog. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors.

Mike Shanahan Has A Poopy Face

What we watched: The salvation of Torrey Smith. Cut to 1,467 articles detailing Smith's journey from humiliating failure to emancipating glory. More importantly, Dexter was on, which prompted your weekly "how many vigilante serial killers has Dexter inspired?" question. (Answer currently unknown.) For those of you who, like me, don't care for cable, finding it expensive and incapable of replicating the thrill of illegally watching television shows online, check out www.icefilms.info. Seriously. People with Megaupload (the sophisticated, more attractive cousin of Megavideo) upload their downloaded shows to the site and just let you stream it. Thievery, without a doubt, but who's complaining? It's loads better quality and without that preposterous 72-minute limit. You need to download Google Chrome, a specific DivX player as well as some other shady stuff, but it's worth it, I'm telling you. Back to Sunday Night Football. Just kidding. No one actually cares about the Baltimore/Pittsburgh rivalry.

Elsewhere

We can finally acknowledge Missouri will finish last in SEC football every year: "The Southeastern Conference Presidents and Chancellors, acting unanimously, announced today that the University of Missouri will join the Southeastern Conference effective July 1, 2012, with competition to begin in all sports for the 2012-13 academic year...'The Presidents and Chancellors of the Southeastern Conference are pleased to welcome the University of Missouri to the SEC,' said Dr. Bernie Machen, President of the SEC Presidents and Chancellors and president of the University of Florida. ‘The University of Missouri is a prestigious academic institution with a strong athletic tradition and a culture similar to our current institutions.'" [Missou Athletics]

It's fun to combine two words into one, even when it doesn't work at all: "Pouha described the Jets' attitude as ‘Jetstitude.' If the definition of ‘Jetstitude' is beating on an opponent, dominating in the trenches on both sides of the ball … well, the Jets showed that. And they knew they would. They've manhandled the Bills in the past five meetings, and they felt confident they'd be able to disrupt their gimmicky spread offense." [ESPN]

Your Typical Crossword Puzzle Marriage Proposal Interlude:

Making your daily one-mile run look paltry: "Geoffrey Mutai of Kenya, the self-coached 30-year-old who shocked the running world to start the season in Boston, made the question rhetorical on Sunday. On a glistening, windless day that seemed made for marathoning, Mutai flew over five New York bridges, surging in the final six miles to shatter a decade-old course record by more than two and a half minutes. Mutai captured the 2011 New York City Marathon in 2 hours 5 minutes 6 seconds - and the stampede did not stop when he broke the tape. His countryman Emmanuel Mutai, 27 and no relation, finished second in 2:06:28. Tsegaye Kebede, 24, of Ethiopia finished third in 2:07:14. The official margin of victory, 1:22.31, was the largest in the race since 1992. The three men each earned a $70,000 bonus for breaking the course record (2:07:43, set by Tesfaye Jifar of Ethiopia in 2001). Emmanuel Mutai collected an additional $500,000 for winning the World Marathon Majors with his strong performances over the last two years. Geoffrey Mutai won a total of $200,000 for his victory and the record run on a day in which an event-record 47,438 competitors started. ‘Although I won, the race was not easy,'Geoffrey Mutai said. ‘I was not expected to win at that time.'" [New York Times]

Bill Williamson agrees, Mr. Kelly: "For the first time in his NFL career, Tebow was challenged with his starting job this week. That he responded with an always solid - sometimes brilliant - performance didn't surprise anyone who knows him well. Tebow not only rushed for 118 yards on 11 carries out of the Broncos' option offense, he threw touchdown passes of 27 yards to Eric Decker and 26 yards to Eddie Royal. ‘I'm shocked,' Raiders defensive tackle Tommy Kelly said. ‘Ain't no way I thought that team could put 38 points on us with that quarterback.'" [Denver Post]

Hickey's on the radio: And he's on now! [WHYY]

Merch: Managing editor Tom Scocca and contributing editor Drew Magary have both written books. You can buy Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future here, and Magary's The Postmortal here. Now do it.

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