Here's one from the You Can't Make This Shit Up department. Pat Lynch is a high school football coach in Wyoming. He has been the coach for the Buffalo Bison since 1998 and won back to back state titles in 2004 and 2005. He is a leader of men. But not girly-men. Oh, no. Get that weak shit out of here.
So, when some of these girly-men have hurt feelings, what's a coach to do? Why, pass out a Hurt Feelings Questionnaire, of course. "The survey, under a list of reasons for hurt feelings, includes such choices as 'I am a queer,' 'I am a pussy,' 'I am a little bitch,' and 'I have woman like hormones.' It asks for the name of the 'little sissy filing report' and his 'girly-man signature,' plus the 'real-man signature' of the person accused of causing hurt feelings."
Lynch, for his part, submitted a letter of apology to the board of education and resigned his position. "I would like to apologize for my lack of judgment and the poor choice that I made from my position as head football coach for Buffalo High School. I know that this situation has caused you pain and discomfort, and for that I am truly sorry. As a person and a professional, I believe I will learn and grow from this experience and use it to help others. I appreciate having had the opportunity to coach in this community for the past 22 years. It has been a rewarding experience. I am eager to earn back your trust as I continue to serve in a profession that I truly love."
Continue to serve in a profession that he truly loves? But, who's going to hire this loose canon to coach their football team now? Oh, what's that you say? He will remain on as a guidance counselor at the school? The very school where this "queer" and "woman like hormones" survey was distributed?
"Lynch 'screwed up big time,' said district superintendent Rod Kessler. The incident, he added, is "'a black eye to the district' and 'a black eye to Pat.'"