Baby It's Cold OutsideSean Newell12/10/11 9:30amFiled to: Wake up deadspintweetNews15EditPromoteShare to KinjaToggle Conversation toolsGo to permalink Your morning roundup for Dec. 10, the day we learned Coyote Shivers was full of shit. Image via mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. What we watched: Took the night off from television. I decked the halls at my parents' house. Got the tree, decorated it, listened to some Christmas jams—the whole bit. What we're watching (all times EST, unless noted): Football: Army vs. Navy (2:30 p.m.), Heisman Watch (8:00 p.m) Basketball: Ohio State at Kansas (3:15 p.m.) Hockey: Pittsburgh Penguins at New York Islanders (7:00 p.m.)Read MeAdvent Calendar: "Most Christmas specials or lesson-based television generally derive their conflict from things that are obviously wrong. If this episode of South Park had merely been about how Kyle is ostracized because he's a Jew and his mother's beliefs conflict with conventional beliefs about Christmas, we'd know we were hurtling toward an inevitable and uninteresting lesson on the usefulness of tolerance. However, because Kyle is literally playing with shit, and clearly pushing the boundaries of acceptable behavior in a way that makes the characters-even the impossibly profane Cartman-and the viewers uncomfortable, this means that the only proper resolution is a Christmas miracle, complete with Mr. Hankey making an appearance to everyone and giving them a speech about the True Meaning Of Christmas." [A.V. Club]ElsewhereBefore it gets better, it gets worse: "On Friday, the AAU announced that it had contacted Memphis police after AAU officials learned from ESPN's "Outside the Lines" about allegations made by the two players. The AAU also announced its own investigation, that Dodd would not be returning to the organization after a medical leave, and named an interim leader. 'Outside the Lines' tried several times Thursday and Friday to contact Dodd about various abuse allegations. Dodd, 63, the AAU's top executive since 1992, did not respond to in-person visits at his home and AAU offices, telephone calls or email to answer questions about the allegations. The players allege a pattern of inappropriate touching of them by Dodd, masturbation by Dodd while they slept in hotel rooms during tournaments, and players younger than 16 being supplied alcohol." [ESPN] Advertisement Advertisement Can you hear me now?: "After a long day on the phones for the three teams trying to salvage their Chris Paul blockbuster deal, sources close to the process told ESPN.com officials involved in the talks were cautiously optimistic that a reworked trade framework will be ready to be presented to NBA commissioner David Stern for approval, perhaps as soon as Saturday. The exact tweaks to the original trade were not immediately known, but sources told ESPN.com the teams were working through the night to try to make amendments to the deal that would satisfy the league's desire to see more youth or draft picks going to the Hornets in the deal." [ESPN]Your the Scots are kinda loopy Interlude: Hey dad, what do you think about a college football playoff system?: "Mora takes over a UCLA program that has wallowed in mediocrity since the Bruins' last Rose Bowl game appearance following the 1998 season. The 13 seasons UCLA has gone without a Rose Bowl appearance is the longest in school history. The Bruins have not been ranked for 75 weeks, also the longest stretch in school history. UCLA has won more than eight games only once in the last 13 seasons, leading to the firings of head coaches Bob Toledo, Karl Dorrell and Neuheisel. Before deciding on Mora, UCLA officials approached Boise State Coach Chris Petersen, who turned down the job. They also reached out to Miami Coach Al Golden, who told them he was not interested. Guerrero flew to Houston to meet with Houston Coach Kevin Sumlin on Dec. 3, but Sumlin was not offered the job." [LA Times]There's a lot going on with Dwight Howard these days, but this is most important: "Howard and Fegan also denied a report that Fegan would be replaced as agent by Howard's father. 'The rumors of my demise as Dwight's agent are greatly exaggerated due to the demands of "good copy,"' Fegan said." [Yahoo] Sponsored Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to firstname.lastname@example.org.