76ers guard Lou Williams made a few people laugh with his heartwarming tale of nearly being robbed at gunpoint on a Philly street on Christmas Eve, only to be saved because the thief recognized him, after which Williams treated the man to some food at McDonald's. But was it true? There are those in Philly who have their doubts, but Williams had not gone to the police, and the Sixers have made it known they're not commenting any further. Let reader James S., who emailed us this morning, speak for the skeptics:
First, the alleged incident happened in Manayunk, a neighborhood of Philadelphia that is known as "Manayuppie". It's the place for Villanova and St. Joes grads to move after graduation while they work their first jobs in insurance. It's bright, well lit, and one of the safer neighborhoods in town. There are also cops on every major intersection because of bar fights. Long story short: people don't get guns pulled on them in Manayunk.
James's description of the neighborhood is certainly true. But just because a neighborhood is "one of the safer" ones in a given city doesn't mean it's completely immune from random violent crime. James S. continues:
Second, and more damningly, there are no McDonalds in Manayunk. The nearest McDonalds to the neighborhood are all a few miles away (Andorra shopping center and one across the Schuylkill River). So he let the gunman in his car and drove him miles to McDonalds? Did he drop him off at McDonalds or take him back to his late night robbery spot in well lit, practically-suburban Manayunk?
This is also true. As the above map of nearby McDonald's locations shows, the closest McDonald's to the center of Manayunk (designated with an "A") is 3.3 miles away, on City Avenue (designated with a "C"), on the opposite side of the Schuylkill River. Now, it's possible Williams has his neighborhoods mixed up. The Sixers, after all, practice at the Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine, which is on City Avenue, just across the river from Manayunk. Williams also could have been in nearby Roxborough, or even East Falls, which would put him closer—and near a more direct thoroughfare—to the Henry Avenue McDonald's that is marked with a "B" on the map. Then again, Williams was quoted as saying he "treated" his would-be assailant to McDonald's, not that he necessarily took him there. Maybe he just handed the guy some money and told him to go to McDonald's? Who knows? As I say, the Sixers aren't talking about it. More from James S.:
Third, Williams said that the robber stopped because of "whatever I do in the community." Williams doesn't know what the fuck he does in the community. I don't know what he does in the community. From what google tells me, Lou Williams does a charity bball game in Atlanta, which, while being a community, isn't any fucking shit in this community. His wikipedia says that he does a camp for his high school in Georgia. Was the Manayunk robber originally from Georgia? HE DOESN'T DO ANYTHING IN PHILADELPHIA.
Well, Williams does do at least one thing in the community: He plays professional basketball. Maybe the alleged would-be robber is a big Sixers fan? I dunno. For now, we'll choose to give Lou Williams the benefit of the doubt. And even if he were fudging a little, what's the big deal? It's not like he's the only guy who ever told far-fetched stories of improbable generosity on Christmas Eve.