0. Basic Twitter Check

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"Ho hum. ... Let's see how Jeremy Lin played last night."

1. Shock

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"Holy shit! WHITNEY HOUSTON IS DEAD?"

2. Denial.

"Wait a second. This could be a hoax. I better check a real news feed to make sure this is legit, and that Zodiac Motherfucker isn't pulling my leg."

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3. Verification.

"Oh man, she IS dead."

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4. Denial, Part 2

"I can't believe I learned about it from Zodiac Motherfucker." (NOTE: This really was who I learned it from.)

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5. Speculation

"So it was drugs, right? Had to be drugs."

6. Consideration of Tasteless Joke on Twitter

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"If I write, 'I get so emotional baby, every time I think of youuuuu ... lying face down in a bathtub,' people may get mad."

7. Notice of Outrage at Someone Else Making Similar Tasteless Joke on Twitter

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"That's a lot of 'TOO SOON's. Better hold that zinger I had until Monday."

8. Commemoration

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"RIP Whitney. Here's a (picture of her back when she was clean/video of her singing the anthem at the Super bowl/clip from the raw vocal from 'How Will I Know'). WHAT A TALENT."

9. Announcement of Personal Connection

"I remember in eighth grade when we drank peach schnapps and would listen to 'I Wanna Dance with Somebody.' And even though I didn't really like the song, I KNEW that woman was talented."

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10. Blame

"Fucking Bobby Brown."

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11. Discovery

"Oh wow. Xanax? I guess that makes sense."

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12. Speculation, Part 2

"These things always happen in threes. Who's next?!"

13. Meta-Commentary

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"Isn't it so weird how we, like, mourn people on Twitter now, y'all?"

14. Live Tweeting of the Funeral/Awards Show Tribute

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"Wait, why is Al Michaels at this funeral? Did he have an affair with her or something?"

15. It's OK to Make Tasteless Jokes Now

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"It's been two days! GOOD TASTE MORATORIUM OVER, YOU GUYS."

16. Link to #longread That Tells You the Real Story

"Here's the full Esquire piece on Whitney's death. BRUTAL."

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17. Next Internet Death

"OH SHIT! BOB DOLE, YOU GUYS!"