Here we have Kristin and Dee, doing battle after a substantial build up, Outsiders-esque in a greasers and socs descend on the playground sense. The ladies work out some ground rules. The fans point droves of cameraphones in their direction.

Then, at the 1:49 mark, it's on.

Head shots. Hairs pulled. Screeching all around.

And then, at the 2:42 mark, it's off.

Hairs styled. Cries for Round Two. A brief in-car intermission. Preening. Posturing. Teenage dreaming in the form of a two-toned fade. A pair of lady battles break out. The loser of the original bout intervenes. Faith in American youth is lost.

In other Tuesday Night Fights action:

• In one corner, "Fat Girl." In the other, "Pregnant Girl." Winner: Everyone else, except the unborn.

Further evidence that Kimbo Slice had a profound effect on American culture outside of his porn realm.

• And here we have a bar brawl "BONANZA!!!", sounding as if it's in the south, looking as if it's fought mostly on a ping-pong table.

• Some rapper named Jim Jones got into a fight at Foxwoods. In honor of said behavior, this is Mr. Jones in "More Than A Hustla." Whoa. This redefines music itself.

Your "You Don't Fuck With A Louisville Woman's Child" Intermission:

• This week's KTFO!

• "Midget kid vs White kid." (There's a lull from 0:50 to 2:05, and everything after 3:00 is a waste).

• "GHETTO GIRL FIGHT ROUND 2!"

• Cat fight 1 out of 2! (2 out of 2 was a waste of time).

• So, um, yeah, they curb-stomp people in Scranton, apparently.

• Christ, after all this, it's time for a palate cleanser, no?

Your Brazilian Lady Face-Fisting Coda: