Here we have Kristin and Dee, doing battle after a substantial build up, Outsiders-esque in a greasers and socs descend on the playground sense. The ladies work out some ground rules. The fans point droves of cameraphones in their direction.
Then, at the 1:49 mark, it's on.
Head shots. Hairs pulled. Screeching all around.
And then, at the 2:42 mark, it's off.
Hairs styled. Cries for Round Two. A brief in-car intermission. Preening. Posturing. Teenage dreaming in the form of a two-toned fade. A pair of lady battles break out. The loser of the original bout intervenes. Faith in American youth is lost.
In other Tuesday Night Fights action:
• In one corner, "Fat Girl." In the other, "Pregnant Girl." Winner: Everyone else, except the unborn.
• Further evidence that Kimbo Slice had a profound effect on American culture outside of his porn realm.
• And here we have a bar brawl "BONANZA!!!", sounding as if it's in the south, looking as if it's fought mostly on a ping-pong table.
Your "You Don't Fuck With A Louisville Woman's Child" Intermission:
• This week's KTFO!
• "Midget kid vs White kid." (There's a lull from 0:50 to 2:05, and everything after 3:00 is a waste).
• Cat fight 1 out of 2! (2 out of 2 was a waste of time).
• So, um, yeah, they curb-stomp people in Scranton, apparently.
• Christ, after all this, it's time for a palate cleanser, no?
Your Brazilian Lady Face-Fisting Coda: