Nets Owner Loses Russian Presidential Election Thanks To "Fucking Fuckwits"

It was a long cold Sunday for New Jersey Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov, who decided a few months ago to challenge Vladimir Putin in the 2012 Russian presidential election. Nyet, Prokhorov! Nyet! As we've noted before, Putin is not only strong leader who crush enemy like Black Sea mosquito but also manliest sportsman of sport. There is no defeating of Putin.

And thus we were left with this sad scene from inside Prokhorov's campaign war room yesterday as the election results rolled in:

As waiters ferried wine and grilled vegetables and salmon-Prokhorov is known for his fondness for good, healthy food-Anton Krasovsky, a television journalist who became Prokhorov's campaign chair, sat on a modern gray couch. Wearing a black suit and a skinny black tie, huffing on thin menthols, he was a picture straight out of "Mad Men." Krasovsky was frustrated, and showered hard-to-translate curses on everything around him, especially the gathering pro-Putin rally. "I drove past those fucking bitches," he said. "Fucking fuckwits."

Prokhorov, who finished third in the election, was more measured in his comments, which was probably wise considering Putin has started rounding up protestors and opposition leaders:

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"There's a difference between fair and unfair elections, and legitimate and illegitimate elections," he said, when asked if, in light of extensive reports of fraud, he was prepared to recognize these elections as legitimate. "From the very beginning, they were not fair, but I knew that they would be that way when I started." Prokhorov was a system player; he was not prepared to dismiss today's vote as illegitmate [sic].

You want illegitimate politics, Prokhorov? Get back here and figure out how to sign Dwight Howard before the trade deadline.