Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets. Until then, young men like Max Kohll only have to go to the principal's office after they engage in unspeakable crimes.
Crimes described thusly by the Omaha World-Herald:
Fill out your brackets, Max told his friends. Bring your $5 entry free to school. Winner gets half the pot, and second and third split the rest.
Max was so sure of success that he hit up his mom, Janet Kohll, for a $5 loan to pay his own entry fee.
No biggie, Max thought. I'm going to win this thing, I can pay her back, and I won't have to work off the loan by scooping up Riley the dog's droppings in the backyard.
But Max got discovered. The law snuck up on Max. The principal heard that Max had $10 and brackets in his locker. By fifth grade standards, that's ten grand in unmarked bills and an Uzi. Max did a bad thing. He got got, or at least he should have gotten got.
It turns out that "you can't gamble in school," Max says. "It's not OK to gamble. It's like, illegal, sort of."
Max got off light, he thinks—Principal Nelson let him off with a stern talking-to and a promise never to do it again. Later, she came to his classroom and lectured his class.
He'll never learn that way. Next time, he gets the stocks.
Fifth-grader busted for bracket [Omaha World-Herald, h/t Ben]