Welcome back to best almost-dong feature on the internet. Today we've got some new interpretations, along with some classics. Up first, thanks to @sadbasementtalk, we have Time Warner's synopsis of Free Willy 2. As always, be sure to send in any would-be penises to the tips department.

Reader Anthony provides this dong-shaped bush from central Pennsylvania. It's a metaphor for central Pennsylvania. Dongs surrounded by nothingness.

Matt chimes in with this monstrosity. As he says, "This 8-penis rooster says bukaka-doodle-do."

Here's a satellite imaging of California's Salton Sea-dong. It's close—quick "Baseball! Grandma! Courtney Love!" Thanks to Bryan for perusing satellite images from 1985.

This athlete-signature-as-dong thing has got more legs than I though. Here's Eric Decker's John Hancock thanks to Cameron.

Chad sends in this double-sided dong masquerading as a smile. Say cheese.

Gregory and Google team up for this "mini massage roller."

I'll be honest here. I only included this one because the sender goes only by "Hotboy Soup" and I wanted to, for once, be able to write "Hotboy Soup" without it seeming totally out of place. So, thank you, Hotboy Soup.

John provides us with a picture of his wife's meal from Chili's, proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that you should never bring your wife to Chili's.

Here's a children's play area from a mall in China in which this frog may soon regret some if its life choices. Many thanks to Jonathan for submitting.

Nature's majesty on full display again. Josh snapped this towering ode to virility at Arches National Park.

Olympic rowers will be performing in this aquadong come the London Olympics, according to reader Nicholas.

Good ol' weather dong. You'll always be my number one guy. Thanks for the reminder, Rick.

Reader Scott provides this throbbing member of his local coffee shop.

And finally, another favorite, the carrot dong. Shane provides this ribbed-for-someone's-pleasure edition complete with what appears to be some pre-carrot.