56-year-old Emanuel Kuvakos of Burr Ridge, Ill. was arrested on Tuesday night and charged with three counts of misdemeanor harassment by electronic means. At first, we imagine, Kuvakos just wanted to protect his intellectual property:
A man from Burr Ridge is accused of sending threatening emails to the president and owner of the Chicago Blackhawks and the former general manager of the Chicago Cubs, accusing them of "stealing his ideas" to win championships, police said.
(An aside: You remember all of those Cubs championships under Jim Hendry, no? You remember all the shrewd moves that shepherded Chicago to those titles? Like when Hendry signed Alfonso Soriano to an eight-year, $136 million contract and signed Milton Bradley to a three-year, $30 million deal? Turns out Emanuel Kuvakos of Burr Ridge, Ill., and not Jim Hendry, devised those championship-winning deals. So please, Cubs fans, thank Emanuel Kuvakos of Burr Ridge, Ill., and not Jim Hendry.)
But then, according to police, Kuvakos raised the stakes:
On Saturday, he sent them another email stating that he would keep the Blackhawks from winning the Stanley Cup, police said.
While being interviewed by authorities, he claimed he also sent a message to Rocky Wirtz, the Blackhawks owner, which saying that if he ever saw Wirtz, he would beat him, according to the police report.
Oh. Well then. But maybe there is some good news for Kuvakos: Raffi Torres took care of the first part. The Blackhawks will have plenty of trouble winning the Cup (or even beating Phoenix) without Marian Hossa. Once someone punches Rocky Wirtz, Kuvakos'll squeal with joy.