Dead Letters: "Deadspin Will Be Down The Shitter In Three Years"S

Welcome back to Dead Letters, the feature in which we reprint our favorite fan mail from throughout the week. It's like Deleted Scenes, but without all the scuzz money. We should take this moment to remind you that all emails to Deadspin and its editors are on the record unless otherwise specified. Now for your letters.

Subject: you suck

From: Brian Neary
To: The Staff

Your website sucks anymore. over the course of the last year, your website went from funny/sexy articles to just reaching for stories. I hate new york and I hate stars being ridonkulous but lets be honest carmelo anthony buying a portrait form an artist that he didnt commission but like the painting isnt that bad and really not story worthy. Get your shit togther...deadspin will be down the shitter in three years

Subject: Bo Ryan

From: Joe
To: The Staff

sounds like you're upset that ESPN broke this story and you didn't ? you guys are kinda like some of these petty local sports radio hosts here in New York.

Joe

Subject: Leitch

From: Patrick Kimberlin
To: The Staff

Oh Leitch likes Woody Allen movies? KNOCK ME OVER WITH A FUCKING FEATHER.

Subject: Grierson

From: Patrick Kimberlin
To: The Staff

His take on Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter: "My hunch is AL:VH will either be really fun in a dumb way, or it'll be just plain dumb." That's quite a hunch! Who is this gifted soothsayer that Deadspin is employing??? Will he use his vision of the future for good or for evil???? Seriously, is his job to provide misdirection to Leitch's unbearable hipsterness by pointing out the blatantly obvious? It's John Maddening I tell you (now that's a turn of phrase).

Subject: sarah ganim

From: Scott Anthony
To: Dom Cosentino

I know this isn't a story, BUT

I think she's mighty attractive... do you agree?

example:

Subject: Not that there's anything wrong with that

From: Dave Overlund
To: The Staff

Attached is a Getty images photo from today's Pittsburgh v Philly game. The lower file is the cropped image, while the top one is the full picture (stolen from ESPN.com admittedly).

It is just a couple male Flyers fans snuggling during a skirmish on the ice.

Dead Letters: "Deadspin Will Be Down The Shitter In Three Years"S


Dead Letters: "Deadspin Will Be Down The Shitter In Three Years"S

Subject: That dunked sucked. Worst article ever on Deadspin.

From: mikepants34
To: The Staff

[Ed.: no text.]

Subject: thole

From: Rdanneker
To: Tim Burke

The Mets catcher reached on a single and was moved to second on R.A. Dickey's successful sacrifice bunt—except the Phillies convinced Thole the bunt went foul, and Thole was tagged out attempting to return to first. It's not really Thole's fault, as his first-base coach should have alerted him to what was going on.

I really want to be polite, but honest to fucking god, did you fail at Little League? That, in no way, was the first-base coach's fault. Baseball analysis like that usually comes from a 11 year-old. Holy shit. Notice how Thole never even looked at the first-base coach after the play? Why not? Because Thole knew that he (Thole) had fucked up and he (Thole) owned it. Appropriately.

Hope you're having a nice Friday night.
R

Subject: Man initiative can change Prophecy of Sun will End the World

From: Ramon Elijah Hutt
To: The Staff, the io9 staff, the Lifehacker staff, the Gizmodo staff, the Jezebel staff

If the people keep watching me and try to photo me with God's Angels_ I will not be able to Warn you of the
Dragons Sun Flames

All it takes is a certain type of Sun Flames to cause No Electricity to your cellular phones and your place of work

When I give you a Prophecy you should prepare yourself for that date because that date could be a life threat to
Earth

And you should make sure what is important to you to be in order

Remember that the Sun rotates and on April 13 the Prophecy about the Sun Flames was on the far side which
means the Sun Flames were not facing Earth

And most likely the Sun Flames had not yet evolve because to my knowledge NASA has not reported any strange
disturbance on the far side of the Sun

April 13, 2012 sent Prophecy of Sun Flames for April 18 and 20

Each person_ try to send this message to the following people

Rick Warren - Christian Religion Leader
Angela Buchdahl - Jewish Religion Leader
Yesir Qadhi - Muslim Religion Leader
Henry Louis Gates Jr.
Warren Buffett
Chelsea Clinton
Bill Clinton
Dawnna Dukes
Mitt Romney
First Lady Michelle Obama
President Barack Obama
Pope and Religion Leaders in Vatican City Italy

Rick Perry - You can try Gov. Perry_ but from August 2011 to
December 2011 he did not return my emails

Subject: Petrino article

From: Chris Stuart
To: The Staff

Seriously... what did the Petrino article have to do with the bikini model being associated with the Republican Party of Arkansas? Pure trash when it comes to a legit news article.