Dead Letters: "I Didn't Know Deadspin Was In The Business Of Being The Moral High Ground Bullshit Decider"S

Welcome back to Dead Letters, the feature in which we reprint our favorite fan mail from throughout the week. It's like Deleted Scenes, but without all the scuzz money. We should take this moment to remind you that all emails to Deadspin and its editors are on the record unless otherwise specified. Now for your letters.

Subject: Here's a tip...

From: J M
To: The Staff

Exposing some broad and her buddies for being scam artists on the internet and not getting caught immediately is not surprising (or that interesting). This ain't Woodward and Bernstein and ESPN isn't the Washington Post. Peace

Subject: Terrible songs

From: John J Hill
To: The Staff

Good Morning, I just wanted to let you know that every time you guys play, SPRINGSTEEN OR ROCKSTAR, I turn the station. These two songs are terrible and they are NOT even country. I know this will probably not do any good but I wish you would lose these two songs, they make me sick.

Thanks, John

Subject: Bryce Harper

From: Ron Andrews
To: Tim Burke

How do you not comment on what a huge douche Bryce Harper is in that clip? He throws his helmet off while running to second so everyone can see his super douchey hair cut and then brushes his hair INTO his eyes.

Subject: Simmons...

From: Ryan Van Tuyl
To: Erik Malinowski

Really? Calm the fuck down... I didn't know deadspin was in the business of being the moral high ground bullshit decider of right and wrong now. He bet and voted. No one gives a shit. Hall monitor.

Ryan

Subject: P Rivers

From: Blair Lewis
To: The Staff

Hi there,

Love the blog. I debated whether to pass this along since I hate snitches, but I'm sick of the Tebow thing and this guy is put on that level. Totally bagged Philip Rivers at Coachella last weekend in the VIP inside the Rose Garden VIP area. She was 5'3'', blonde and a fucking smoke show, all over him (backwards Chargers cap the idiot). Fortunately for him most of the folks over there were out of their mind on E and not sports fans, but I def bagged them and my buddy can back it up. As soon as they saw me pointing them out to my friend they high tailed it out of there. Didn't want to be the douche to take a pic, in hindsight I wish I had. Take this for what is it, but with the ultra christian rep, 6th or 7th kid being born this past year and him shitting the bed this year, something tells me everything isn't all good on the home front.

Best,

Blair Lewis

Subject: "Next time that happens, fall down."

From: Stephen A. Murphy
To: The Staff

I'm no expert at lip-reading, but I'm pretty sure that's what Lebron James said to his teammate after Carmelo's bucket and sharp pass that hit his teammate in the face. Granted, Carmelo could've gotten a T on that, but he didn't.

The real story — especially after all of Lebron's flops in Game 1 — is that the world's most talented athlete constantly feels like he needs to flop, dramatize, and/or cheat to get the benefit of cheap/light calls.

Lebron is a phenomenal athlete. One of the best we've ever seen. But he's such a sad, immature player. If I were Wade, I'd pull him aside and tell him to cut the crap. When you're that good, you should win on your abilities. You don't need to flop and pretend to be injured just so your opponents get technical/flagrant fouls.

Lebron, you are pathetic. I'd take MJ/Kobe any day of the week. They may be assholes, but they're assholes who win by just outplaying you, not by flopping and pretending to be injured. They're hard and they're tough. You're weak. ABL. (Anybody but Lebron.)

Steve