Here we go with another week of unintentional dong submissions. I hope you know by now to please be sure to send in any would-be penises to the tips department. Let's start our action off this week with Jennifer and a third grader who has accurately refuted the old story about babies and storks. And away we go.

Reader Austin sends in this pic he saw on reddit. It is alleged this is somewhere in the great lakes. Superior design, for sure.

This is a statue of founding fathers embracing. "Jefferson! Is that the Declaration of Independence in your hands or are you just happy to see me?" Thanks to Brad for the submission.

Advertisement

Christopher checks in with this sidewalk/median dong somewhere in Charlotte. It even has a urethra.

These prancing penises are found on the ceiling in reader Dan's office. That would be kind of distracting if you find yourself staring up into space for hours on end in the office like I did.

Sponsored

We've had carrot dongs, pepper dongs, cactus dongs and cheeto dongs but I do not believe we've ever had a tomato dong. Thanks to Dan for fixing that for us.

Greg snapped this dong in his rocks for jocks class. Which reminds me, I was finishing school right as laptops were becoming omnipresent. I never brought mine to class because I could just as easily not pay attention by doodling in my notes and figured I would literally never pay attention to anything if I could be on the internet. Anyway, do people type on iPads and shit now in class? They probably do, right? God, that's annoying.

Reader Hunter passes along this dong massager from Japan. Well, Epcot Center's version of Japan. IT PROBABLY COSTS MORE THAN USUAL BECAUSE DISNEY RIPS PEOPLE OFF!!

Joe sent in this filthier alternative to the kiss the cook apron: A dong BBQ glove.

Daddy's little helper is supposed to be wearing a onesie with wrenches scattered around a car, but it sure looks like they are dicks. Thanks, John.

Joshua and his lady friend came across this trio of dongs. It always amazes me how many women love this feature. It's the only thing they read but, god bless them for it. Tell her we say thanks, Joshua.

Nick found this gigantic dong in a lab book under some sort of tower and pulley system, complete with tiny stick figure scaling the heights.

Thump-Thump (I don't know) passed along this sidewalk dong. Can't really tell if its unintentional or intentional. Either way, it looks like a dong.

Here is a haystack dong that appears to also be urinating that reader Tony found in a book while reading to his child.

The weird thing is, whenever I'm done having sex I always yell "Salt and pepper hot sauce!" No idea why. Thanks person who's email I accidentally deleted without noting the sender.