Last Friday, the Daily Caller published what is truly one of the most insane pieces of sportswriting to ever exist, in which a dumb guy attempts to turn Bryce Harper into a symbol of conservative values and the reincarnation of Ronald Reagan, or some shit.

Advertisement

Today, Esquire's Charlie Pierce did what needed to be done in regards to that piece, and tore the whole thing to shreds, FJM-style. Be sure to check it out, or if you're too lazy to read the whole thing, at least enjoy the last paragraph:

I like sports. I like politics. I like many of the people who practice each of them but, mother of God, there's something fundamentally dehumanizing in dragooning someone like Bryce Harper into the service of your ideology as though he were nothing more than an action figure in your mental toybox. I tune in when I know Bryce Harper's playing because his talent is something that even a baseball agnostic like myself can enjoy watching. Can't he just do that without being made to stand for something, at least for one season? To paraphrase a currently popular phrase: clown analysis, bro. Clown analysis.

Our Athletes Are Not Meant to Fit Our Ideologies [Esquire]