Dwyane Wade's Ex-Wife Charged With Attempted Child Abduction, While Chris Bosh's Ex Is Applying For Food StampsS

Busy week off the court for the two non-controversial members of Miami's Big Three. Siohvaughn Funches-Wade has been charged with a mess of counts, including the awful sounding "attempted child abduction," after a weekend incident in which she refused to turn over their two sons at the time appointed by their visitation agreement. Funches-Wade allegedly locked them in her Chicago home, and didn't answer the door when Wade's sister came to pick them up. She also tried to run away when a deputy came knocking. Wade's lawyer filed an emergency motion today to suspend Funches-Wade's visitation rights.

In Orlando, the mother of Chris Bosh's three-year-old daughter says she's only getting $2,600 a month in child support. The lawyer for Allison Mathis says she's been laid off, her home is going into foreclosure, and she's had to apply for federal food assistance.

Meanwhile, LeBron James is happily and quietly married, never causes any trouble, and is two games away from leading his team to an NBA Championship. Also, I'm only using that photo because it's hilarious. (Photo via Crave Restaurant)