Meet Christa, licensed cosmetologist, office secretary, and all-around refined lady. Christa disapproves of all those painted-up trollops on TV who go around flashing their delicate flowers. In fact, she has a sound piece of advice for celebs who complain that their "nudie pictures" are being shared all over the Internet: don't take them in the first place.

While Christa has a pretty legit point (although not one that Deadspin endorses), her coworkers at JJK Security think she's a hypocrite. So, exactly how much cash would it actually take for Christa to flash her bits? Find out in the clip above.

Christa is but one of many colorful real-life characters on Small Town Security — AMC's new series about a family-owned private security firm in rural Georgia.

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Head here to meet the whole gang, and tune in to the series premiere of Small Town Security on July 15 at 11/10C — only on AMC.