Some people are fans of the New Orleans Saints. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New Orleans Saints. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here.
1. "Is you taking notes on a criminal fucking conspiracy?" Even though this is the Internet and even though column space on the Internet can scroll on forever, there STILL isn't enough room here to express how badly the Saints buttfucked their way through this entire offseason. It's one thing to have a super-top-secret bounty program in place for years and years and years (despite the fact that players come and go to other teams regularly and can blab about it at any time). It's another thing to put that program IN WRITING, to have your begunted nutjob of a defensive coordinator codify your bounty program into a series of slides that make the average Tripod site look current. How fucking stupid do you have to be to let this go on? Don't you know that the Ginger Hammer is just waiting to wipe his freckled scrotum all over anyone who dares cause the world to notice that football is a violent sport? IDIOTS.