How long were you on this planet before you realized that hot things hurt, and you shouldn't touch them? A few months? A year or two, tops? So when you see a black marble bench, baking in a summer Texas sun on a 101-degree day, maybe you think, hey, it's probably hot, I shouldn't sit there. And even if you sit down, and burn yourself, you probably get up immediately rather than waiting for the third-degree burns to set in.
You, my friend, are not Jennelle Carrillo. Carrillo is suing Jerry Jones and the Cowboys after an incident two years ago, when she sat on a bench outside of Cowboys Stadium before a scrimmage, and ended up in a hospital for skin grafts. From her lawsuit:
Defendants did not exercise reasonable care to eliminate the risk of harm to plaintiff posed by the bench, nor did defendants adequately warn plaintiff of the risk of harm posed by the bench. No warning signs were posted at or near the bench advising that it was dangerously hot when exposed to the August sun.
People, we are coming ever closer to being able to sue the Sun itself.
I could totally understand accidentally sitting on a hot bench for a second. We've all done it. But what gets me about Carrillo's case is that she sat for a good length of time, and didn't even notice she was searing her ham hocks until later. Her lawyer told the Fort Worth Star-Telegram that he didn't know how long she was sitting, and only realized she had been burned when she got up to use the bathroom.
Woman burned about hot seat at Cowboys Stadium sues Cowboys and Jerry Jones [Fort Worth Star-Telegram]
Woman Claims She Suffered Third Degree Burns to Her Ass at Cowboys Stadium, Sues Jerry Jones [Dallas Observer]