Back in January, Detroit's return to the playoffs was a bit of a thud, getting blown out in the second half by the once-and-future dome offense in New Orleans. But it wasn't for lack of trying, especially on the part of Shawn Payton, from Jackson, Mich. Payton was watching the game at home, and he didn't like what he was seeing. So he did what any reasonable fan might: he googled a phone number for the Superdome, called it, and told them to stop winning or he'd detonate a bomb.
The first call came in the third quarter, after Jimmy Graham scored to put the Saints up 24-14. Payton rung up the reception desk at one of the entrance gates, said he was on the premises, and declared "I will blow up your building."
The Saints didn't stop winning. About an hour later, Payton called back after a failed onside kick all but put the game out of reach. This time, he had message for his namesake, the Saints coach. (He couldn't google that phone number, I guess.)
"Hi, I want you to relay a message to the sideline: If your stupid Southern team keeps winning, there will be reper...severe consequences, OK?"
Payton had called from his home phone, so it wasn't much for the FBI to track him down. He was arrested, pleaded guilty to a felony count of threatening interstate communications, and yesterday was sentenced to three years' probation and two months' home confinement.