It's time for a new installment of Deadspin's college football rankings. As always, the teams are ranked according to the logic and values of college football, no matter how bizarre or contradictory they may be.
1. Alabama (1-0) Previous rank: 1
Still the champs.
2. USC (1-0) Previous rank: 2
The Trojans won by 39 and got demoted in the AP poll. Deadspin's rankings may be capricious—college football is capricious—but good gravy. One week ago, the AP voters believed USC was better than the defending national champions. Now, after one game, they've reversed it. What, they were surprised that Alabama won a home game? Why should everyone else pretend the AP poll means anything if the AP voters don't even believe in it?
3. [vacant] Previous rank: 3
When the national playoff comes, the question of who the third-best team in the country is will matter.
4. South Carolina (1-0) Previous rank: 4
5. Oklahoma State (1-0) Previous rank: 5
"We play the games that are scheduled," coach Mike Gundy said, after beating Savannah State, 84-0.
6. Oregon (1-0) Previous rank: 6
7. Michigan State (1-0) Previous rank: 7
Forget about keeping them tied with Michigan. Michigan lost. After one game, every team is either a winner or a loser. Losers don't belong alongside winners.
8. Ohio State (1-0) Previously unranked
Fifty-six points against an intrastate patsy. The Buckeyes are getting their old outlaw swagger back.
9. TCU (0-0) Previous rank: 9
10. (tie) Georgia (1-0)Previous rank: 12
10. Arkansas (1-0) Previous rank: 12
12. LSU (1-0) Previous rank: 14
Rushed for 316 yards and won by 27 points, got demoted in the USA Today poll.
13. Kansas State (1-0) Previous rank: 15
Used a 35-point fourth quarter to hold off Missouri State, 51-9.
14. West Virginia (1-0) Previous rank: 17
15. Clemson (1-0) Previous rank: 18
16. Oklahoma (1-0) Previous rank: 20
17. Texas (1-0) Previous rank: 21
18. Florida (1-0) Previous rank: 22
19. South Florida (1-0) Previous rank: 23
20. Florida State (1-0) Previous rank: 24
21. (tie) Stanford (1-0) Previous rank: 12
21. (tie) Wisconsin (1-0) Previously unranked
Last year's twin red-and-white fraudulent powerhouses can hang out here together until one of them does something that's not boring. The Cardinal beat San Jose State by 3, the Badgers beat Northern Iowa by 5.
23. New Mexico (1-0) Previously unranked
Congratulations to the teams that used their tune-up games to crash the national scoring leaderboard. Up first, the Lobos, who scored 66 points. Against whom? Don't pry.
24. Arizona State (1-0) Previously unranked
25. Missouri (1-0) Previously unranked
26. North Carolina (1-0) Previously unranked
120. Boise State (0-1) Previous rank: 9
So much for the undefeated-and-underrated alt-football act. Defeated and rated.