The Heavy Metal Cruise: "Headbang In The Hot-Tub"

While it's still technically summer, it will soon be fall and before you know it, winter. That's why I'm here to remind you to book your beach vacations in advance. There is nothing quite like ditching the sleet and snow for some LandShark beer and sand between your toes, right? And heavy metal music in close quarters in the middle of the ocean. Lots and lots of heavy metal music and lots and lots of ocean.

A friend passed this along and sweet Jesus is it ever amazing. It is a heavy metal cruise called 70000TONS OF METAL (caps theirs, natch). They sail off from Miami for five days and four nights of heavy metal music, boozing, beaches and hot-tub headbanging. No, really.

Headbang in the hot-tub while you watch your favorite band play on the pool-deck stage or check out some of the workshops and clinics with the musicians on board.

And get this: the musical acts are on the boat with you. "It's like everyone has a backstage pass," repeats the website a billion times. It's basically a regular cruise but with heavy metal bands—Immolation and In Flames, among others—playing at night. The bars never close and there are designated smoking areas on the starboard side of the deck. There's heavy metal, heavy metal karaoke, daycare for heavy metal offspring—everything!

Guests sail the open seas on Lucifer's Bounty The Majesty of the Seas.

There are duty-free shops and an internet cafe with WiFi access to keep your friends and family back home and in the office up to date on all the happenings on board.

Alright. Now. Let me answer the final two questions you likely have. Yes, there is a Johnny Rocket's—Deck 12—and all the beautiful bikini girls are in the Solarium on Deck 13.

Oh, there is definitely a belly flop competition, too.

70000 TONS OF METAL - The World's Biggest Heavy Metal Cruise