Earlier this week, SI.com published its Twitter 100, a list of Twitter feeds that Sports Illustrated staffers considered "essential to their daily routine for finding news, information and entertainment from the sports world."
Today, we offer a counterpoint: The Deadspin Twitter -100*, our list of the 67 worst sports-related Twitter accounts. We adhered to no criteria while compiling this list, and we did not work exceptionally hard on it. Hope you hate these Twitter feeds as much as we do.
1. Joe Cowley (@cst_Cowley), columnist
Sexist piece of shit whose Twitter avatar makes him look like a violent half-wit.
@gregfocker And what significant foot print have you left on a community to retire with? Do tell. Having a double chin doesn't count.— cst_Cowley (@cst_Cowley) April 17, 2012
2. Rick Reilly (@ReillyRick), columnist
Everything you despise about Reilly, condensed into one tiny, loathsome space.
Maybe Gisele has her panties in a bundchen because Tom Brady is 0-2 in #SuperBowls since he got with her?— Rick Reilly (@ReillyRick) February 7, 2012
3. Mike Soltys (@espnmikes), ESPN PR flack
Pravda central. Proud, humorless, and beyond reproach.
Happy Flag Day! The stars and stripes fly over Bristol: twitter.com/espnmikes/stat…— Mike Soltys (@espnmikes) June 14, 2012
4. Gregg Doyel (@GreggDoyelCBS), columnist
What's worse than a troll with a national platform? A troll with a national platform who keeps tucking his tail between his legs on Twitter.
Honestly didn't know that. I do now. RT @tb0213: severe gastro attacks can mimic/feel like a heart attack— Gregg Doyel (@GreggDoyelCBS) September 17, 2012
5. Hockeyy Insiderr (@HockeyyInsiderr), rumormonger
Painfully fake NHL rumors combined with screenshots that are photographs of his computer screen. No wonder 30,000 have been fooled.
6. Stephen A. Smith (@stephenasmith), screaming head
Peeps got jokes.
Haaaa! No worries.— Stephen A Smith (@stephenasmith) September 20, 2012
7. Bruce Arthur (@bruce_arthur), columnist
Handwringer. Lobs milquetoast commentary from the ramparts of every easily defended position in sports. "Canada's best sportswriter."
8. Jim Irsay (@JimIrsay), NFL owner
Drunk. Can we say drunk? Big drunk.
Ok,for $300,2 tubes of Crest,3 cans of Evian mist,1 Colts hat,1 bottle of Tums..What is my favorite living creature,besides Human Beings?— Jim Irsay (@JimIrsay) September 15, 2012
9. Peter King (@SI_PeterKing), columnist
This man still doesn't know how to properly answer fanmail on Twitter. You answer FIRST, then RT the question. Otherwise ... CHAOS.
Attention 46-yr-old losers waving and doing hey-look-at-me stunts behind network sets in Tampa: Stop it. You all look like turds.— Peter King (@SI_PeterKing) August 27, 2012
10. Jason McIntyre (@TheBigLead), blogger
The type of person who ruins jokes, hits "reply all" on emails, and wears the band's T-shirt to their concert.
11. Sarah Phillips (@SarahPhilli), scammer
Our old grifter friend still sends out meaningless sports tweets and (still) deletes half of them.
12. Not Bill Walton (@NotBillWalton), parody account
Hey, Bill Walton is a blowhard. It'll be super-funny to make lame jokes in a blowhard voice, right? Right?
Chris Paul saying he wanted the Clippers over the Lakers is like Lamar Odom saying he wanted Khloe over Kim. No way, no how!— Not Bill Walton (@NotBillWalton) September 19, 2012
13. Faux John Madden (@FauxJohnMadden), parody account
Unfunny jokes that you probably heard in a slightly different format minutes earlier.
Dez Bryant strains his hamstring, teaching us the ever important lesson to always stretch before you hit your mom.— Faux John Madden (@FauxJohnMadden) August 12, 2012
14. Spencer Hawes (@spencerhawes00), Philadelphia 76ers center
Man who is rich because he won the genetic lottery is concerned about socialism ruining his country.
Ronald Reagan is spinning in his grave. We might as well be Russia in 1983. #americancommunists— Spencer Hawes (@spencerhawes00) June 28, 2012
15. Paul Bissonette (@BizNasty2point0), pro hockey player
Meathead who isn't half as funny as he thinks he is. No one could be as funny as he thinks he is.
Ya well the girl I brought home that night liked it @manofbird. Not worried about your opinion on my fashion sense.— Paul Bissonnette (@BizNasty2point0) September 2, 2012
16. LeBron James (@KingJames), Miami Heat small forward
People who use Twitter just to Instagram pictures of their food are the worst. LeBron James is one of those people.
17. LaVar Arrington (@lavarArrington) radio host, former NFL linebacker
Retweeted compliments, all-caps babbling, and a quick block on anyone who dares question his football knowledge.
WILL BE AT BARCODE DC TONIGHT FILMING SPORTS WEEK LITTLE AFTER 7PM COME WATCH MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL WITH ME! dnt make me— LaVar Leap Arrington (@LaVarArrington) September 17, 2012
18. Arian Foster (@ArianFoster), Houston Texans running back
The NFL's leading faux-intellectual. Some of his tweets might be thought-provoking if they weren't trying so hard to be thought-provoking.
When you find out it's all a ploy to keep you from yourself, it all becomes so clear. Smiling is worth more than money.— Arian Foster (@ArianFoster) September 18, 2012
19. Floyd Mayweather (@FloydMayweather), professional boxer
Oh, you bet another exorbitant amount of money on a meaningless sporting event? Thanks for the update, Floyd.
20. Skip Bayless (@realskipbayless), professional troll
A man who somehow succeeds at being worse than the countless parody accounts of him.
If Rex had stuck with Tebow, I believe Jets would have pulled off comeback. It's what Tebow does. But Rex feared losing Sanchez for good.— Skip Bayless (@RealSkipBayless) September 18, 2012
21. Roddy White (@roddywhitetv), Atlanta Falcons wide receiver
He's seeking the answers to life's most pressing questions.
Did boardwalk empire already start— Roddy White (@roddywhiteTV) September 19, 2012
22. Dont'a Hightower (@zeus30hightower), New England Patriots linebacker
Murderer of pizza rolls.
Just killed some pizza rolls— Donta Hightower (@zeus30hightower) September 15, 2012
23. Dan Gilbert (@cavsdan), Cleveland Cavaliers owner
A constant reminder that in America, a bumbling old man can become a millionaire and own an NBA franchise.
Don't mean to "press the bruise" but did Fred borrow the salmon shit he is wearing tonight from Phelps? Airline lose Mcleod's luggage?— Dan Gilbert (@cavsdan) March 15, 2012
Ahhh....that would be "shiRt". Sorry kids.— Dan Gilbert (@cavsdan) March 15, 2012
24. Craig James (@craigjames32), alleged mass murderer
Now he's murdering the English language.
I see ur into horses and a farmer. Roper? Cutter? what kind of horse? Tractor brand of choice? RT @mbjclay:— craig james (@craigjames32) July 29, 2011
Thanks! Appreciate the complimentRT @ahart755: You are an inspiration to aspiring sports journalists Congrats on Adam's TD against TAMU!— craig james (@craigjames32) October 12, 2011
25. Chris Broussard (@Chris_Broussard), NBA reporter
Sources close to Chris Broussard confirm that Chris Broussard can't be bothered to credit anyone other than Chris Broussard.
While u wasting energy hatin' on me, I'm enjoying time with me family. If I can't relate to that I feel sorry for u.— Chris Broussard (@Chris_Broussard) July 5, 2012
26. Warren Sapp (@warrensapp), former defensive lineman, NFL Network analyst
If Warren Sapp's account came up to you at a party, you'd lie about having to go to the bathroom in order to get away from it.
I have the best flight stories, here we go again— Warren Sapp (@WarrenSapp) September 18, 2012
Ok I'm back! The flight attendants was about to do the safety video & it stopped, then they couldn't find the equipment to do it manually— Warren Sapp (@WarrenSapp) September 18, 2012
27. Jon Heyman (@JonHeymanCBS), baseball insider
Thin-skinned and incapable of proper capitalization. Has a feud with Buster Olney, which is like having a feud with your milkman.
Sorry I guess it was buster who broke the carlos lee story. I didn't realize that since he blocked me long ago. My bad.— Jon Heyman (@JonHeymanCBS) July 4, 2012
28. Keith Law (@keithlaw), baseball writer
Has Olbermannic tendency to engage with trolls via manual RT.
My sides are short? RT @evan4623: just tell everyone how you are stubborn and short-sided and maybe they'll leave you alone about it.— keithlaw (@keithlaw) September 19, 2012
29. Mike Wilbon (@RealMikeWilbon), ESPN personality
Still treats Twitter as if you're lucky he deigns to be on it.
...Probably best that I stop tweeting for awhile. Just gonna get myself in trouble. There's enough of my opinion already out there...(More)— Michael Wilbon (@RealMikeWilbon) June 8, 2012
30. Major League Baseball (@MLB), official Twitter account of Major League Baseball
This account is run by a secret cabal of the lamest dads in America.
31. Lynn Hoppes (@lhoppes), plagiarist
Twitter Inc. is based in San Francisco, with additional servers and offices in New York City, Boston, and San Antonio.
32. Jay Paterno (@JayPaterno), self-deluder
Your drunk, uninvited uncle at the dinner table who's always trying to change the subject.
Old Spice Matterhorn scent promises 8 hours of Ice, Wind & Freedom...any scent promise 8 hrs of Earth, Wind & Fire?— Jay Paterno (@JayPaterno) September 11, 2012
33. Sports By Brooks (@SPORTSbyBROOKS), internet guy
Single-note microtweeter. Chief Inspector Brooks will crack this Penn State case wide open, in 140 characters or less.
After Sandusky atrocities unearthed Paterno said he had lung cancer. Days later, Curley said he'd contracted same condition— SPORTSbyBROOKS (@SPORTSbyBROOKS) September 20, 2012
So many coincidences, so little time.— SPORTSbyBROOKS (@SPORTSbyBROOKS) September 20, 2012
34. Chris Jones (@MySecondEmpire), magazine writer with a capital W
"Let me tell you folks about the agony and ecstasy of a little craft I like to call... WRITING." Tweets thank-yous to admirers like he's signing autographs outside Toots Shor's.
35. Tom Scocca (@tomscocca), Deadspin managing editor
Random subway-lunatic screaming fits, trivial whining, and petty, condescending feuds. Uses hostile retweets as one drawn-out humblebrag.
STOPWATCHES HAVE LIBTARD BIAS QUIT WRITING ABOUT MARATHONS ON YOUR SPORTS BLOG deadspin.com/5939809— Tom Scocca (@tomscocca) September 1, 2012
36. Rampage Jackson (@Rampage4Real), UFC fighter
Sad that a good fighting nickname is wasted on an attention-needing creep.
Hahaha y'all pussy ass tricks on twitter make me laugh,keep the funny tweets coming,cause u know u wish u was me! hahaha haten is bad— Quinton Jackson (@Rampage4real) May 4, 2012
37. Joe Rogan (@joerogan), comedian, UFC personality
None of you can handle his scathing views on everything! He tells it like it is. Or he's just shitty. Either one.
These cookies are THE SHIT. I only wish my cunty nanny state government would allow me to have them with raw milk twitter.com/joerogan/statu…— Joe Rogan (@joerogan) August 16, 2012
38. Chad Dukes (@Chaddukes), radio host
Arrington's meathead radio partner. His old Twitter background was him pointing a gun at you.
39. Ryan Lochte (@ryanlochte), Olympic swimmer, epic bro
May as well just tweet dialogue from old episodes of Laguna Beach.
40. Mike Greenberg (@ESPNGreeny), ESPN radio host
ESPN's answer to the DJ 3000. Those clowns at the BCS did it again. What a bunch of clowns.
For those asking about new avi: Yes, I taught the dog to Tebow. Only, her name is Phoebe so Mrs Greeny calls it "Phoebowing."#Jets— Mike Greenberg (@Espngreeny) September 19, 2012
41. Mark Schlereth (@markschlereth), ESPN NFL analyst
Talks to players on Twitter during games as if they can actually hear him.
Churchy Thought: “Work as if you were to live a hundred years.Pray as if you were to die tomorrow.” Benjamin Franklin…— mark schlereth (@markschlereth) September 16, 2012
42. Eric Stangel (@EricStangel), head writer for The Late Show
The world's most obvious sports jokes, expertly designed to be retweeted by 70-year-old newspaper columnists.
43. David Portnoy (@stoolpresidente), proprietor of Barstool Sports
Spews Boston-tinged diarrhea that New England college bros eagerly lap up to regurgitate later while taking pickup hoops too seriously.
I'm sick of all these pussies whining about viruses and shit.Big whoop.Like banging a hot chick with STD.Worth it.— David Portnoy (@stoolpresidente) September 19, 2012
44. Frank Isola (@FisolaNYDN), Knicks beat writer
As bitter as he is excitable. Declares games over after two minutes of the first quarter. Will not stop telling you about that time he saw James Dolan's car.
A few years ago Dolan's limo nearly clipped me on corner of 33rd & 8th. He rolled down window & said "are you trying to get yourself killed"— Frank Isola (@FisolaNYDN) July 11, 2012
45. Dan Levy (@DanLevyThinks), lead writer at Bleacher Report
Self-appointed ombudsman of everything.
46. Peter Gammons (@pgammo), baseball writer
Mdngkac,— Peter Gammons (@pgammo) March 1, 2011
47. Ethan Sherwood Strauss (@sherwoodstrauss), NBA writer
Seems to regard Twitter as a massive graduate-level semiotics seminar. Excuses dumb comments by saying he's just "starting a conversation."
48. Jon Morosi (@jonmorosi), baseball writer
Baseball writers can be an insufferable bunch (see: Heyman, Jon), but Ken Rosenthal's smirky sidekick beats out all comers.
Reports of Harvard's athletic/academic demise are greatly exaggerated. It was, is and will remain greatest university on Planet Earth.— Jon Morosi (@jonmorosi) September 19, 2012
49. Matthew Cerrone (@matthewcerrone), director of digital media for SNY
Demonstrates social media expertise by asking people why they unfollowed, the Twitter equivalent of handing out a post-date questionnaire.
@joe_cervone joe, you once followed me, now don't. curious why the change? thanks.— Matthew Cerrone (@matthewcerrone) November 14, 2011
50. Incarcerated Bob (@incarceratedbob)
WFAN caller who guaranteed LeBron signing with the Knicks. Earned his nickname after he punched a Pats fan, which shouldn't even be illegal.
51. King Kaufman (@king_kaufman), writer-program manager at Bleacher Report
Once-great columnist now d/b/a as Bleacher Report's designated mouthpiece. Wears inferiority complex as if it were a handlebar mustache.
52. Bethlehem Shoals (@FreeDarko), founder of FreeDarko.com, co-founder of The Classical
Remember how FD used to have those pictures you weren't sure you understood in every post? Like that, but without the words in between. Or any pictures.
There is a very good case to be made for Godard having invented Tumblr.— Bethlehem Shoals (@freedarko) August 19, 2012
53. Wright Thompson (@wrightthompson), senior ESPN writer
Hey, it's a Wright-a-Day calendar!
While looking for something, I ran across this old story. The Return of Billy Cannon. sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/s…— Wright Thompson (@wrightthompson) August 9, 2012
In an olympic mood. Heres a story about me driving across china: sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/s…— Wright Thompson (@wrightthompson) August 13, 2012
54. Craig Calcaterra (@craigcalcaterra), baseball blogger
Get a room, baseblogger.
55. Justin Goldman (@TheGoalieGuild), columnist
A pseudo-poetic answer for everything. With regard to goalies, the correct answer is usually "random variation."
A quiet mouth & a loud soul leads you down a path of frustration & fear. A human is a piece of art, so speak your mind & express yourself.— The Goalie Guild (@TheGoalieGuild) September 6, 2012
56. Tommy Craggs (@tcraggs22), Deadspin editor-in-chief
The ultimate in too-good-for-Twitter passive-aggression. Petulant, defensive, withholding. Another prick with a studiedly obscure avatar.
@sky_kalkman C'mon. If you ignore everything substantive and see only our silliest shit as pervasively illuminating, that's your problem.— Tommy Craggs (@tcraggs22) May 30, 2012
57. Will Leitch (@williamfleitch), writer, Deadspin editor emeritus
A flyover-country refugee with some hay tucked in his city-slicker suit pocket for effect. Garrison Keillor without jokes. Cardinals suck.
58. Jeff Pearlman (@jeffpearlman), writer
Brutally conventional conventional wisdom about sports, politics, and buttocks.
I've always found it odd how guys say "check out her ass" and such over an object that delivers excrement. Nothing sexy about poop— jeffpearlman (@jeffpearlman) September 12, 2012
59. Hockey Buzz Eklund (@eklund), rumormonger
A source of bad hockey rumors so blatant he lists his phone number in his bio. TSN could be reporting your next prank phone call.
@89mogilny if you have followed me from the last lockout on you would know I never report anything which could potentially hurt the fans— Hockey Buzz Eklund (@Eklund) September 5, 2012
60. Dwight Howard (@dwighthoward), Los Angeles Lakers center
Likes to tweet about taking dumps, kind of like the one he took on Orlando.
61. Jay Feely (@jayfeely), former NFL kicker
It's as if someone stuffed the corpse of William F. Buckley into soccer cleats and let him periodically fall face-first onto the keyboard.
@potholeskinny I have never said I believed Obama to be a socialist Muslim. It does bother me h's is unwilling to defend America's greatness— Jay Feely (@jayfeely) June 23, 2009
62. Pete Prisco (@PriscoCBS), NFL writer
Odious anti-union propagandist. Bad at football, worse at foreign affairs.
We liberate countries and then they attack. Wonderful.— Pete Prisco (@PriscoCBS) September 14, 2012
63. Colin Cowherd (@ESPN_Colin), ESPN shock jock
Facelifted race-baiting honky exemplifies the perils of Twitter for sports yakkers: who needs three hours when your ideas all fit in 140 characters?
The obese a massive drain on ALL healthcare. Love what Bloomberg did in NY. We gave ppl freedom—and they can't handle it.— Colin Cowherd (@ESPN_Colin) September 13, 2012
64. Jay Mariotti (@MariottiJ), master of media
Hideous American grotesque farting out dumb half-thoughts between court dates.
Photos: Smokin' Cutler meme lights up Web usat.ly/PUoaYW via USA TODAYAnother reckless punk site running irresponsible stuff.— Jay Mariotti (@MariottiJ) September 20, 2012
65. Jason Whitlock (@WhitlockJason), columnist
Insecurity so enormous, it has its own ecosystem. Retweets compliments. Thinks he's Omar; is Valchek. Unclear on how the internet works.
Toss me a link to my new column?— Jason Whitlock (@WhitlockJason) September 14, 2012
66. Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell), soulless sports business reporter
Headlines? "Talking Haircut Thinks All Human Activity Can Be Expressed Via Minute Fluctuations In Commodity Values." Shill. The worst.
Did you name your child after your favorite player, team or mascot? Prove it to me.— darren rovell (@darrenrovell) September 20, 2012
67. Deadspin (@Deadspin), sports blog
Dumb in-jokes amid an endless string of misleading headlines—for the benefit of all the people who follow Deadspin but don't read Deadspin.
Image by Jim Cooke