Breaking: Pitt Has A Class On Vampires (Also Something About Three Starters Being Charged With Assault)S

The AP more often than not still uses a time-tested format called the inverted pyramid, in which the most basic and crucial facts are placed at the top, with increasingly peripheral details as you read down. The idealist says it's so readers get the important stuff early, even if they don't read to the end of the story. But really it's so lazy editors, if pressed for space, can just cut paragraphs from the bottom.

Well, this is the internet, where space isn't a at premium. And this AP story, nominally about three Pitt football players charged with assault, is a perfect example of burying the lede. If I were on the desk, I probably would have rewritten it in the exact reverse order. Something like this:

Holy crap, Pittsburgh has a class on vampires! Like, a real class, for three real credits! "Vampire: Blood And Empire" meets two nights a week, for three hours at a time, and with an enrollment of 50, most likely takes place in a smallish lecture hall. It is, for whatever reason, part of the university's Slavic department. The course description:

This course examines the phenomenon of vampirism in verbal and visual texts from different time periods in various cultures (Russia, Poland, France, England, America). Why do vampires capture the imagination especially of Anglophone readers? What qualities does the vampire incarnate? Which historical events and customs have triggered particular enthusiasm for depicting the undead? How have the depictions of the vampire evolved over centuries? Our discussions will address these issues as we analyze stories, novels, and films focusing on vampires from a variety of critical perspectives, contextualizing the works in the cultures that produced them.

Isn't college the best? Such an enormous waste of money, but the most fun four-year sleepaway camp ever. My senior year, I took a class called UFOs in American Society, that totally wasn't about the pop culture aspect at all. It was taught by this guy, who shows up as a talking head on all those History Channel alien shows, and he absolutely believes that extraterrestrials are abducting people all the time. (He pointedly would not answer whether he has ever been abducted.)

Anyway, two of the students in Pitt's vampire class were starting WR Devin Street, and someone named Karl Olsheski. Because the two had class together, Olsheski was able to identify Street as one of the three men who randomly confronted him and some friends last week.

Karl Olsheski told police that Graham confronted him by saying, "What's up?" along with a racial slur [Ed note: "Daywalker?"]. Olsheski said he tried to walk away but that Graham and Street blocked his way and Pitts kept him from retreating.

Olsheski "stated that shortly thereafter, he was struck one time on the left side of his head by Mr. Street."

They reported the incident and Street, RB Ray Graham, and DB Lafayette Pitts have been charged with simple assault and conspiracy. They have a preliminary court date in January, and it's not known what their status is for the Notre Dame game tomorrow.

3 Pitt football players charged with assault [AP]