Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Fight at a Texas funeral." (Editor's Note: RIP to the deceased.) Tonight's commentator: Joe Lombardo, CEO & Funeral Director at the Williams Lombardo Funeral Home in Clifton Heights, Pa., where they "Put the FUN in Funeral!"
We would have given these folks a cage-match themed funeral to allow them to vent their obviously volatile emotions over the death of a loved one. Nothing like two grieving friends or relatives in a 12' x 12' chain-link cage giving each other a righteous ass-whoopin'.
We would have paid special attention to featuring the two ladies who almost came to blows at the very end.
No matter how politically correct you want to be, two beefy middle-aged broads in a cat fight, mother fuckin' each other up and down would be really entertaining.
The casket would be on a riser on one side of the cage with bleacher seating on the other three sides for the mourners and fight club audiences. That would provide appropriate solemnity to the observance.
The eulogy would be delivered by a guy talking into a microphone lowered from above, and he would definitely be sporting a high-elevation Don King 'fro.
Now let's talk sponsorships and pay-per-view rights!
And now, the rest of your Tuesday Night Fights:
• Dude brings an aluminum bat to an Austin, Texas street fight on Halloween. Gets his ass whooped anyway. Seems as if he proceeds to drive away, but not until after he smashed into another car. (SoV, 2:07)
• Here is another Russian street fight. Aggression picks up at the 1:32 mark. But, there is a special moment for which I will not add a spoiler alert. Just the (SoV, 2:20) tag.
• Watch as a heated discussion turns into brunette-on-blonde lady crime. (SoV, 0:48)
• The Wildcats Cheerleaders spin-off sequel did not go as smoothly as hoped. (SoV, instantly)
• Superhero Phoenix Jones is back to protecting and serving the streets of Seattle despite those who think there's no place for vigilantism in first-world 'Merica. If you need them, the details are linked here. (SoV, instantly)
• Heated discussion turns to brunette-on-blonde crime. (SoV, 0:48)
• Big Guy vs. small guy. Who ya got? (SoV, 0:10)
• The Long-Awaited "Big Momma's Boobs Escape Her Muumuu While She Wails On Smaller Gal" Intermezzo:
• "Bitches be crazy" at the Walmart in Chicopee, Mass. (SoV, 0:02)
• Toe to toe these white boys go, and neither gets dropped to the sidewalk. (SoV, instantly)
• Shit gets real outside tha club in Texas. (SoV, instantly)
• Shades of Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs up in this here "Ghetto Fight." (SoV, 0:12)
• The Off-To-A-Turkish-Prison Intermezzo:
• In your weekly update from the 215, I don't think anybody worth their hood salt would deem anything involving a white boy playing cop for Halloween as a "real ass North Philly fight." But that's what these here folks did. So, whatever (SoV, 1:26). Bonus Coverage: "Ol' head Gets Roc'd by Teen" in West Philly.
• TNL Beijing Correspondent Anthony Tao shares a video, the title of which translates to "Pretty ladies also fight, much fiercer than men!" Also features a "Mandopop" score (SoV, instantly). Bonus Coverage: "14-Year-Old Slaps And Kicks Own Father, Who Does Nothing To Stop Her."
• This one is called "Korean With Knives On Street." That totally captures the essence of it. (SoV, instantly)
• Your Family Squabble Draws Police Attention Interruption:
• It is the whitest of white-boy battles that takes place on the grass circle in the middle of a cul de sac. (SoV, 0:13)
• Fuckin' hoopsters are in the peanut gallery for this battle of fortitude and strength. (SoV, instantly)
• Grass thug vs. Valinda thug. Who ya got? (SoV, 0:22)
• Others: "Fight!!! - Driver vs Cyclist." "BLACK DUDE AND WHITE DUDE FIGHT ON NJ PATH TRAIN STATION." "(Round 1) Street Fight!!!!! But Who Won? Mexican vs Asian." " The all-time best street fight.(Turkish Nuh DEMİRCAN)." "42nd street fight... dude almost took her head off." "Clear Shot of Violent Bus Fight." "Fight Big brawl bouncers vs party people." "Brutal red neck fight." "greek women fight at metrobus." "Black Guy KO'S White Kid!!" "Raider Klan vs Asap Mob Fight In Miami." "Plano road rage brawl." "New hood ghetto fight Street fight videos Real fights Street fighting fighting videos youtube fight."
• The Nihilist FTW Coda: