Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Fight at a Texas funeral." (Editor's Note: RIP to the deceased.) Tonight's commentator: Joe Lombardo, CEO & Funeral Director at the Williams Lombardo Funeral Home in Clifton Heights, Pa., where they "Put the FUN in Funeral!"
We would have given these folks a cage-match themed funeral to allow them to vent their obviously volatile emotions over the death of a loved one. Nothing like two grieving friends or relatives in a 12' x 12' chain-link cage giving each other a righteous ass-whoopin'.
We would have paid special attention to featuring the two ladies who almost came to blows at the very end.
No matter how politically correct you want to be, two beefy middle-aged broads in a cat fight, mother fuckin' each other up and down would be really entertaining.
The casket would be on a riser on one side of the cage with bleacher seating on the other three sides for the mourners and fight club audiences. That would provide appropriate solemnity to the observance.
The eulogy would be delivered by a guy talking into a microphone lowered from above, and he would definitely be sporting a high-elevation Don King 'fro.
Now let's talk sponsorships and pay-per-view rights!
And now, the rest of your Tuesday Night Fights:
• Dude brings an aluminum bat to an Austin, Texas street fight on Halloween. Gets his ass whooped anyway. Seems as if he proceeds to drive away, but not until after he smashed into another car. (SoV, 2:07)
• Here is another Russian street fight. Aggression picks up at the 1:32 mark. But, there is a special moment for which I will not add a spoiler alert. Just the (SoV, 2:20) tag.
• Watch as a heated discussion turns into brunette-on-blonde lady crime. (SoV, 0:48)
• The Wildcats Cheerleaders spin-off sequel did not go as smoothly as hoped. (SoV, instantly)
• Superhero Phoenix Jones is back to protecting and serving the streets of Seattle despite those who think there's no place for vigilantism in first-world 'Merica. If you need them, the details are linked here. (SoV, instantly)