Kenny Shiels is the manager of the Scottish Premier League's Kilmarnock F.C. Manuel Pascali, one of the club's midfielders, is supposed to serve the second of a two-game suspension this Saturday against Celtic, but Shiels disagrees.
"According to my mathematics, Manuel Pascali has served two full games," said Shiels.
The Kilmarnock boss added: "He played for the first three minutes and got sent off against St Johnstone, which lasted 93 minutes.
"So, he has completed 90 minutes against St Johnstone and he missed last Saturday, so he will definitely be in the squad - if not starting.
"I think technically I'm right so I'll play him and then see where that takes us."
Ah, of course. Math and technicalities. Soccer fans will take kindly to this. Or not:
Kenny Shiels is a bit of a mong— Gary McCorkell (@garymccorkell) December 6, 2012
What about Kenny Shiels saying he's going to play Pascali on Sat even though he's suspended, aye ok Kenny go for it #nuggetofaman— Lee Sibanda (@sibby17) December 6, 2012
Kenny Shiels is a bit of a simpleton in all honesty. The troll act was endearing initially, not so much now.— Motown Junk (@MarshalCo) December 6, 2012
Kenny shiels really is an absolute tadger of a man— Danny Zuko (@Bigpapapump10) December 6, 2012
Kenny Shiels is a complete bawbag. The sooner he leaves Scottish football the better.— Colin Chapman (@cochap) December 6, 2012
Kenny Shiels is a grade A fanny. It's a 2 game ban, not a 180 minutes of football ban... #tadger— Liam Doris (@dorrissey) December 6, 2012
Kenny Shiels is a slavering idiot.— Danny Woods (@NandoWoods) December 6, 2012
Kenny Shiels is a bampot hahaha!— Scott Currie (@Scott_Currie_18) December 6, 2012
Time for my weekly Kenny Shiels is a zoomer tweet. He's an utter rocket.— Ross Pilcher (@rosspilcher) December 6, 2012
Kenny Shiels is a rocket! Reckoning Manuel Pascali has served his suspension because he was sent off in the 3rd minute of a game.— The Arab Archive (@ArabArchive) December 6, 2012
Kenny Shiels has lost the plot but I fucking love him!— Steven Howard (@StevenHoward92) December 6, 2012
kenny shiels really is an absolute muppet— kieron mcilveen (@kieron51) December 6, 2012
Kenny Shiels is a Bawbag— Stuart (@stuartstorar) December 6, 2012
Surely Kenny Shiels is a Sevconian employee in waiting? His constant moonbeams make him an ideal candidate.— thebhoy72(@thebhoy72) December 6, 2012
Kenny Shiels talking pish— Neil Jung (@NeilJung67) December 6, 2012
And Kenny Shiels transformation into a Class A blawhard is complete...— Broon (@Martin_Brown6_2) December 6, 2012
And speaking of losing it, Kenny Shiels is a fucking mongo anaw.— Neil Cockburn (@NeilCockburn) December 6, 2012
So many Scottish pejoratives! The best part is that we have no idea which ones are actually just typos.