The Classical did an oral history of Fire Joe Morgan this week. And while it makes for great reading (especially if you love FJM as much as I do and have ripped off FJM as often as I have), it occurred to me while reading along that every oral history is virtually identical. Here now is your universal oral history template:

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PERSON 1: We were just fooling around. The whole (song/book/TV series/film) was a happy accident, really.

PERSON 2: The (label/network/studio) didn't even like it. We must have gotten a thousand rejections before (generous benefactor) said yes.

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GENEROUS BENFACTOR: One look at it and you knew it was special. It still holds up, you know. I went back and (listened to it/watched it), and it's still all there.

PERSON 1: We had no idea it was gonna be that big. If we had, we probably wouldn't have done it! Ha ha ha!

PERSON 2: It was when my grandma told me she had (seen it on TV/heard it on the radio/read about it). That's when I knew shit was going bananas.

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PERSON 1: It was a moment in time, you know? It perfectly captured the feelings of people back in (1984/1992/2010). Whenever you hear (completely different contemporary work of art), there's a little bit of (my song/my show/something from Bridesmaids) in there. And that makes me proud.

PERSON 1: (looks back with a mix of wistfulness and ambivalence) It was a great ride. But I don't think it means as much to me now as it does to other people. I've moved on with my life, you know? There's so much more I want to do. But sometimes ... sometimes I (see my show on TV/hear my song on the radio/see a kid wearing my shirt) and I get a little smile on my face. It represents a really wonderful chapter in my life and it'll always be a part of me.

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And fin.