The 27 Dumbest Things Gregg Easterbrook Wrote In 2012S

1.

Imagine the import of an alien to answer the yes-or-no question, "Does your society believe in God?"

2.

The Bible is best understood as an accurate record of actual events — it may not be, but that's the way the Bible is best understood.

3.

Let TMQ be the first to identify the Batman angle to the Romney candidacy.

4.

The sequel arrives this summer — the title is "The Dark Knight & The Deathly Hallows," or something like that.

5.

Third billing goes to Anne Hathaway as a presumably flighty, ditzy, gosh-ain't-she-cute Catwoman.

6.

Thomas Hobbes would have TiVo'd "Revolution."

7.

When TMQ watches the Blur Offense, I don't watch the razzle-dazzle, I watch the blocking.

8.

Your columnist plans to dress as the national debt — that will be scary!

9.

In Hollywood and TV nonsense, no one is ever checked at airports.

10.

Professionalism in this sense means skin or at least skin-tight, which propitiates the football gods.

11.

Ghosts seem a lot more possible than zombies.

12.

Sharing my outrage, the football gods pushed the attempt wide.

13.

As the very sour field goal attempt boomed, TMQ wrote the words "game over" in his notebook.

14.

Needless to say, Hollywood blockbusters do not aspire to realism. But the opening scene of "Battleship" raises a question that needs debate.

15.

Had Green Bay lost consecutive games to officiating errors, verily the football gods would have waxed wroth.

16.

(The replacement refs) need to exit stage left, but deserve a measure of appreciation — say, first claim on future NFL officiating openings.

17.

Now the 2011 Tuesday Morning Quarterback Non-Quarterback Non-Running Back NFL MVP — David Diehl, left tackle of the Jersey/A Giants. […] On his best days Diehl is not the NFL's best left tackle.

18.

The most unrealistic scene of "Taken" occurred off camera, at the end.

19.

The football gods should reward this.

20.

Most who analyze football for a living don't try to figure out what is happening in line play or coverages. TMQ keeps his eyes off the ball. Try it sometime!

21.

As usual, I recommend you employ the offseason to engage in spiritual growth.

22.

Generally, the Steelers hit cleanly.

23.

Now that Shahid Khan, born in Pakistan, owns the Jaguars, look for him to import Pakistani talent.

24.

Your columnist's New Yorker subscription runs to March 2016.

25.

One of the ironies of life is that low ethics may not even work.

26.

But now that many sports websites run NFL cheerleader photos — usually just cheesecake pics, with the woman not even identified — TMQ's take is no longer distinctive. That I did it better doesn't matter.

27.

TMQ's occasional New York Times corrections items are not intended to ridicule that paper, widely considered the best in the world. The items are intended to amuse.