Hang on! Stop everything! There was no bigger story in sports in the last two weeks than the news that Novak Djokovic had cornered the market on the world's annual supply of donkey cheese to supply his restaurants in his native Serbia. But, bummer: The New York Times flooded the zone (not really) to get to the bottom of all this, and it turns out Djokovic was only offered a chance to buy the cheese—also known as pule—from the Serbian farm Zasavica, the only place in the world said to produce it:
Responding to a series of e-mail questions about pule, Jovan Vukadinovic, a manager at Zasavica, concluded with a rather deflating piece of information. "Novak Djokovic never bought our cheese," he wrote.
What happened, he explained, was this: Slobodan Simic, the farm's donkey breeder, left a sample of the cheese with the manager of Mr. Djokovic's restaurant in Belgrade, offering to let the restaurant have an exclusive on the product. He still awaits a reply.
The Daily Mail, hot on the trail of pule, sent a reporter named Robert Hardman to Serbia for a tasting. When he discovered that the Djokovic story was shaky, he buried the bad news deep in the story and swathed it in a few layers of obfuscation, suggesting that Mr. Simic is now "waiting to clinch the deal."
The waiting seems more likely than the clinching.
Still want some ass cheese? Now's your chance to get it before Djokovic hogs it all!