He showed up for spring training looking like a fat ass. His fatness touched off a debate about whether he was fat. Eventually, Fat Chipper himself chewed the fat, and soon there was no denying what everyone else could see. He tried masking it. He found himself a Playboy-model girlfriend. He even arranged what sounds like the worst Super Bowl party of all time. And then he went for the optical illusion to disguise all that fat. We also think he retired from baseball.