Who Wants To Go To The Super Bowl With This Awful Human Being?

What's up, ladies? Do you like the Ravens? Would you like a ticket to the Super Bowl? Are you "hot?" Are you open to performing an "HJ/BJ/etc." in exchange for said Super Bowl ticket? Well then, this Craigslist ad is for you!

Free Super bowl Ticket for Hot Chick - $1

Good news for someone... My uncle got 4 tickets to the superbowl and gave me 2. My (biatch) girlfriend broke up with me on the day of the New England game so I will be taking someone along with me to spite her. I will pay for tickets, hotel, food, drinks, etc.

My requirements are simple:

1. You must be hot and a Ravens fan.
2. You will be expected to put out, at least HJ/ BJ/ etc.
3. You will have to hang with my aunt and uncle for at least a little bit.

Email me if you are interested — this is not a joke.

On second thought, that "hang with my aunt and uncle for at least a little bit" part sounds like a real downer. You might just want to pass on this deal after all, ladies.

h/t Scott