If you are not already turned off by the lousy job prospects and insane expense, what you are about to read will turn you off from that silly "maybe I'll go to law school" thought you had. This is what it does to you. It destroys yo until you become some insane, ambitious robot walking around talking, but not really listening, about outlines and internships and "my partner actually lets me draft his correspondence." You don't even realize it's happened until it's too late and you've turned college basketball into a checklist of facts to be used to not ruin a job interview. Without even a trace of irony.
A real person is behind the email you are about to read. He or she has feelings and thoughts and even dreams. Yet, here is this email. It seems impossible to reconcile, but then you remember a real person was behind Vader's mask, too.
Anyway, here is a quick and easy field guide to not screwing up an interview at some soul-crushing Spokane, WA law firm.
Whether you are networking or interviewing, a future employer may ask you "How about those Zags?!" Why you certainly don't need to be a basketball fan to get a job, I'd caution you against replying "Uh, no idea—I don't follow basketball." Why? Because the person asking you the question is trying to get a conversation going with you and you don't want to bring it to a screeching halt. Whether or not you are a fan, Gonzaga basketball is being talked about a lot right now-across the nation. Because we want you to be well-prepared for any situation, I asked a team of Zag experts (Dean Sklut, SBA (blank), Prof. Gilmer, Registrar Robbie McMillan, and Dean's Asst. Stephanie Conlin) to prepare the following "basketball CliffsNotes" for your convenience:
ZAGS BASKETBALL TALKING POINTS
1) Currently ranked 7th (check prior to interview - http://espn.go.com/mens-college-basketball/rankings)
2) Yes, David Stockton is John Stockton's son and both attended Gonzaga Prep. High School in Spokane.
3) Head coach Mark Few is always on the short-list when positions at "high profile" schools come available however Coach Few enjoys GU and Spokane and doesn't seem anxious to leave.
4) Gonzaga continues to have great success recruiting outside of the US. Current starters include 2 Canadians, 1 German, and 1 player originally from the Ivory Coast who grew up in France. In addition our 7'1" freshman center is from Poland and cancelled a recruiting trip to Duke after visiting Spokane last year.
5) 4 former Zags currently play in the NBA (Ronny Turiaf, Robert Sacre, Austen Daye, and Jeremy Pargo.)
6) Current Zags Elias Harris, Kelly Olynyk, and Kevin Pangos are being mentioned as candidates for national post-season awards.
7) The women's team has had more success than the men's team in recent years, reaching the Sweet 16 in each of the last 3 years and advancing to the Elite 8 in 2011.
8) The Zags have appeared in 14 straight NCAA Tournaments. During that time the Zags have advanced to 5 Sweet 16s but only once moved on to the Elite 8 (1999).
9) The Zags play in the West Coast Conference (WCC) and our two biggest conference rivals at present time are St. Mary's and BYU.
10) Law students are entitled to tickets just as the undergrads are however law students must also wait in lines (and often in tents) with the undergrads which makes it challenging from a scheduling stand-point.
11) Gonzaga undergraduate enrollment is approximately 4400 which makes it much smaller than most other traditional basketball powers.
Director, Center for Professional Development
Gonzaga University School of Law
721 N. Cincinnati St., Rm 142
Spokane, WA 99220
TL;DR: law students are crazy, the worst.